Last Straw

Michael:

"Luna, did I just catch you drinking that beer through a straw?
Cut it out.
Why?
I’ll tell you why.
Because first of all, we’re in public.
Second of all, you’re drunk enough already.
And third of all little lady, that is not your beer."

Smile

Michael:

Luna, get out of the car.
Come on.
You’re going to make us late.

I’m serious!
Wipe that frown off your face,
And let’s go.

Do I have to drag you out?
You know I will.

Fine.
Have it your way.

Why do you always have to be so difficult?
Let go of the steering wheel.

God, you’ve got one hell of a grip.
But I happen to know you’re ticklish!

Did you just threaten to scream?
Luna.

If you do, I’ll take you straight home.
But you’re going to be very happy about it.

Let go of the steering wheel.
Thank-you.

Now hurry up and no biting this time.
Poor dentist.

Smile, honey.
And put away the matches.

Coin Toss

Asa to Anthony:

“Where is Luna?”

“I don’t know. She asked for coins to toss in the fountain then went up the escalator.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, the fountain’s down here.”

“There she is! Throwing them down from the third floor.”

“Go get her.”

“Why? She’s not hurting anybody.”

“She won’t be aiming for the fountain much longer.”

“You called that one.”

“I can’t believe you lost track of her.”

“Poor people, look at them scatter.”

“Go get her!”

“Here she comes.”

“Thank god.”

“I think she’s being chased though.”

“Not anymore.”

“That had to hurt.”

“Anthony?”

“What, boss?”

“Next time you give Luna coins, break up the rolls.”

“Got it.”

Job Perks

Two guards:


“Dude, what’s up with Luna?”

“She’s in deep shit. Went off on Asa and he wasn’t having it. He kicked her out.”

“So she’s staring at us through the window?”

“Yup.”

“That’s creepy, man.”

“She’s been there for hours.”

“So, where is Asa?”

“I don’t know but he left strict orders not to let her back in.”

“Oh come on, man. It’s cold outside!”

“No it’s not.”

“It is too. Look, she’s pressing her boobies against the glass just to keep them warm.”

“Don’t fall for it, dude.”

“Fine, I won’t let her back in.”

“Good thinking.”

“I’ll just go outside and talk to her.”

“Asa's going to kick your ass.”

“Asa ain’t here, man.”

“Actually, he's right behind you.”

The Moth

Michael to Luna:


“Don’t touch that.”

“It’s just a candle.”

“It’s a lit candle.”

“It doesn’t hurt.”

“It’s going to.”

“Ouch!”

“Told you so.”

“That didn’t hurt.”

“Of course not.”

“Light it again?”

“No!”

“Dammit.”

Goodnight

Michael:

“Luna, wake up!

There’s a cop downstairs that wants to talk to you.
Mind telling me what is this is about?

Open your eyes, dammit.
Don’t make me stifle that snore with a pillow.

That’s better.
Now tell me why there’s a cop here.

What do you mean, you don’t know.
Damn right you should go talk to him.

Hey, put some clothes on first.

Luna, you can’t wear that.
Or that.

Okay fine. If it helps you get out of this mess.
Just put it on.

You buttoned it up wrong. 
Here, let me help you.

There.

No, you can’t show any more tit than that.
Yes, I’m sure. Now get downstairs.

That’s weird...
He’s gone! 
I wonder why.

Oh, hi Asa.
That’ll explain it. 
Oh dear.

Okay Luna, go back to bed.

No you can’t, Luna.
No she can’t, Asa.

Button that back up, Luna.
Goodnight.”

Nativity

Alex:

“Luna, what the hell are you doing?”

“Playing with these stupid dolls.”

“Those aren’t dolls. That’s a nativity scene now put everything back the way you found it.”

“Whatever. There you go.”

“That’s not even close, little missy.”

“I don’t remember how they went!”

“Fine, I’ll help you. Where’s the baby Jesus?”

“You mean this little guy?”

“Luna, what was he doing in your purse?”

“Kids are good for ransom money. So I hear.”

“You’ve been hanging out with Asa too much. Where’s the virgin Mary?”

“Right here.”

“Luna, untie her! You’ve definitely been hanging out with Asa too much. That’s better now put her next to Joseph.”

“Who?”

“Joseph, dammit!”

“Settle down. You’re losing your holiday spirit.”

“Put her beside him please, not on top.”

“This is boring.”

“Just give it here. There, that’s how you set up a proper nativity, Luna. Now let’s get out of here before someone sees us.”

“You’re no fun. Hey, why don’t we have a nativity scene at our place!”

“Due to some very smart thinking on someone’s part, Luna. That’s why.”