Room Freshener

Asa to Alex: 

“Why is Luna mopping the floor?”

“According to her, she’s cleaning.”

“She’s spreading vodka around again, isn’t she.”

“Yup.”

“Great.”

Conversation Skills

Luna to Michael:  

“Your hands are rough.”

“That’s because I work really hard, Luna.”

“I like them that way!”

“That’s nice.”

“Especially when they get snagged on my panties.”

“Luna, I don’t think this appropriate conversation in front of our dinner guests. Okay?”

“Sorry.”

Wreckreation

Guest:  “Anyone up for poker?”

Luna:  “Okay but I’m not really sure how to play. I only know how to do the stripping part.”

Michael:  “Poker is definitely out of the question.”

“What about Twister?”

“No.”

“Charades?”

“No.”

“Go Fish.”

“Maybe.”

“I’d rather play pool.”

“That could be fun.”

“Good cuz I can throw the balls really hard now!”

“Pool is definitely out of the question.”

“Dammit! You're no fun.” 

Music Box Dancer

Alex to Asa: 

“Where’s Luna?”

“Michael locked her in her room.”

“Uh-oh. Why?”

“For chasing down an ice cream truck.”

“That’s nothing new.”

“With a hammer.”

“Oh dear.”

“Apparently, she didn’t like the song that was playing.”

“Christ.”

“She took care of it though.”

“I bet she did.”

“That’s not all.”

“Oh god. What else?”

“She took it for a spin.”

“She what!”

“Then brought it back here.”

“Where the fuck did she park it?”

“In the garage.”

“Amazing.”

“The doors were still down but she got it in the garage.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yup.”

“I bet Michael is so pissed.”

“I can hear him nailing her door shut, as we speak.”

“Hey, well at least he got his hammer back.”

Extra Sharp

Alex:  Luna, what are you doing?

Luna:  Cutting off a slice of cheese.

Alex:  Why are you using a butter knife?

Luna:  Because papa hid all the other ones.

Alex:  Can’t blame him for that. Here, let me help you.

Luna:  No. I can do it.

Alex:  Come on, you’re scaring me.

Luna:  I got this!

Alex:  I don’t think you do.

Luna:  Check it out, it’s almost working…

Alex:  Great. Now it’s on the floor.

Luna:  Dammit.

Alex:  Now what are you going to do?

Luna:  Eat the whole thing.

Alex:  Please don’t take a bite out of the block.

Luna:  *does anyway*

Alex:  Luna, that’s terrible. Where are your manners?

Luna:  Next to the really sharp knives somewhere.

Alex:  Well, bon appetit little mouse because I’m taking the butter knives too.

Hell's Angel

Michael:  Asa, did you teach Luna how to ride a motorcycle?

Asa: Maybe.

Michael:  Did you tell her to drive over to Alex’s place?

Asa:  It's possible.

Michael:  And to park it inside?

Asa:  My memory is a little fuzzy there.

Michael:  She said you told her to rev it up so loud it breaks the fucking windows.

Asa:  I totally remember that.

Michael:  Dammit Asa! You owe me for some fucking windows.

Asa:  Hahaha! Nice.

Michael:  You know she’s probably headed back over to your place, you asshole.

Asa:  Shit. I got to go.

Baked Begonias

Michael:

“Luna, where are you going with all those flowers?”

“To the kitchen.”

“Please don’t put them in the oven again, okay?”

“Why not?”

“Luna...”

“I won’t turn them on broil again.”

*glare*

“And I won’t forget about them again this time, either.”

“No!”

“Dammit! You’re no fun.”

“Go back outside.”

“Well at least let me put them in a vase.”

“Fine.”

“So I can put them on a burner.”

“Luna, get out!”

“Dammit! Fine.”