Anthony

Luna: “Hi there, Anthony. You can relax now, Asa’s gone. So, do you ever go by Tony? …No? Antonio? Anton? Tina?

Still not talking? Whatever, I’ll fill in the void. Which reminds me, you have a humongous package. You must be mighty proud of that thing.

*silence*

So, you’re not going to talk to me, like ever? This is lame. Very, very lame, Tina. There are so many things I want to know about you but if you’re not going to talk to me, eventually I’ll have no choice but to make up the answers myself.

I want to know where you came from. I want to know where you met Asa. Did he tell you about the last guy? I want to know what your favorite color is. I want to know what you’re allergic to. For no reason at all really, just curious.

What do you drive? What kind of music do you listen to? Do you have a brother? Can I have his number? Is he more talkative than you? Is your daddy cute? Oh, I bet he is and also well endowed, no doubt.

I wonder what your voice sounds like. Is it sexy? Is it low and sultry or do you sound like a girl? I bet you sound like a girl. Do you laugh like a girl? Do you, Tina?

*silence*

I’m starting to think you’re scared of me and that’s why you won’t talk to me. You’re scared of the big bad Luna.

Fine, you pussy. I’m calling you Tina from now on, from now on and forever. I hope you like it, bitch.”

Asa: “Anthony! Whoa hey buddy, put her down! Release the headlock… easy, easy. There you go man. Listen Anthony, I know she’s going to piss you off, she’s going to do it often but she’s not one of the boys and you’re not in prison anymore. Relax. Luna is a lady.”