Girl Interrupted

“Asa, I don’t like that new chic in town. Can you make her disappear?”

“What? No, Luna. She’s a nice lady.”

“Oh my god, you’ve already talked to her?”

“Yeah, a little bit. Calm down.”

“I totally hate her now.”

“Why?”

“She is… well as you would say, not in my best interest.”

“What is going on, Luna.”

“I found a red hair in Alex’s car. I was this close to setting it on fire.”

“So what if he gave her a ride somewhere?”

“I wasn’t aware he had so much free time! I can fix that.”

“Alex is a pussy, why do you even care. Just focus on making the guy you do have, happy.”

“I could never make you happy.”

“I was talking about Michael.”

“Oh.”

“Just ignore her, okay?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“That’s an order, drop it.”

“You’ve already fucked her, haven’t you!”

“None of your business.”

“Oh, this means war you fucking asshole!”

“Stop throwing things, Luna.”

“Give me one good reason!”

“There’s a lady at the door.”

Defense

Asa: 

“Excuse me Alex, for sending the lady out of the room but I think this is a conversation best held between two men.”

“You don’t qualify. What have you got Luna into now?”

“Hey if you didn’t hear anything you can leave.”

“I heard everything, pity if Michael were to find out about this.”

“How’s that black eye treating you?”

“Fantastic, thank-you. It’s got Luna pouring all over me.”

“Speaking of Luna, it’d be a pity if she were to find out about your new girlfriend.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re pretty ballsy, bringing her around here. Luna is a terrible sport.”

“She’s just a friend, prick.”

“I love her long red hair. I’d fuck her… given half the chance.”

“You leave her out of this!”

“No, YOU leave her out of this. Walk out of here and forget everything you heard. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a little cleanup to do.”

“Try to be thorough, would you.”

“I plan on it.”

Interrogation

Asa:

“So Luna, did something happen today you want to tell me about?”

“No, not really.”

“Someone told me you spent a few hours digging a hole in the yard. You want to tell me what for?”

“You know, just gardening.”

“And by gardening you mean planting dead people?”

“Just one.”

“I see. And someone also told me you have a gun. Is this true?”

“Hahaha! No, of course not.”

“Hahaha! No of course not, what was I thinking. So where is it?”

“Threw it in the hole with the body.”

“You planted it?”

“I planted it.”

“So exactly who is in the hole, Luna?”

“Dig him up if you really want to know.”

“Plan on it.”

“Okay, I need to go now.”

“You need my help to cover this up, female and I really need to know where the gun is.”

“You would help me?”

“It’s in my best interest.”

“You’re so wonderful, sir.”

“Where’s the gun, Luna?”

“Are you sure I can’t keep it?”

“NOT in my best interest.”

“It’s in my purse.”

“Go home and act normal, leave the purse here.”

“I don’t want to go home. I bet Alex is there.”

“What a fucking pain in the ass. You tell him nothing little girl and I mean nothing. I’ll kill him to keep this quiet.”

“You leave Alex out of this.”

“No YOU leave Alex out of this… or else."

Alex: “Or else what.”

Told You So

“Hi Luna!”

“What the fuck! Jordon? Is that you?”

“Yes, it is.”

“But you’re supposed to be dead!”

“I know.”

“How did you get in here?”

“I’ve missed you, Luna.”

“Get the fuck away from me!”

“Whoa! You carry a gun now? Put it away babe, you’re scaring me.”

“Stop right there or I’ll blow your fucking head off.”

“You don’t really mean it, do you?”

“I do.”

“Well, I guess there’s just one way to...”

BANG!

Almost There

Luna was headed to Asa’s and she almost made it there but Alex caught up from behind. He took her hand and wouldn’t let go. She tried to put up a fight.

The night was cold, she finally gave up and Alex walked her home. Asa watched from a darkened room, through the scope on his gun. 

Black Eye

Luna to Alex:

“Oh my god, your eye! What happened?”

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Ouch, yes! Don’t touch it Luna.”

“Did you and Asa get in a fight?”

“I don’t get in fights, Luna. He just walked up and punched me.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Your crush on him is maddening, girl.”

*sigh*

*dirty look*

“I’ll go get you some ice.”

“Don’t bother.”

“It looks like it hurts!”

“Stop touching it! What the hell is wrong with you? Do you like it when I poke you in the eye?”

“Ow! What the fuck was that for?”

“Watch your language.”

“You are in a horrible mood.”

“I wonder why.”

“I think it’s time for a drink.”

“No thanks.”

“I meant for me but I’ll bring you back some ice.”

“Luna, I’m fine just do me a favor. Go and don’t come back. I’m not in the mood for your company.”

“You don’t really mean that. Do you?”

“Please don’t give me that look.”

“I can’t believe you’re mad at me!”

“I never said I was...”

“Don’t worry. I’ll leave you alone, promise.”

“Where are you going?”

“To go get drunk… with Asa!”

“You to stop right there!”

*door slam*

"God dammit.”

Bad Behavior

Alex to Asa:

“Where are you headed with Luna?”

“None of your damn business.”

“Luna, where is he taking you?”

“Don’t answer that. Get in the car.”

“Luna, you’re supposed to be at my place in an hour.”

“And she will be! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Why don’t you just answer the question?”

“Fuck off. I don’t answer to you.”

“Get out of the car, Luna.”

“Don’t you dare. Alex, get the fuck out of the way! I have no problem running your ass over.”

“Luna, get out of the car before he runs me over.”

“You stay there female or I guarantee I will.”

“Rev up your car all you want, asshole!”

“Luna, I hate that mother fucker. You don’t mind if I run him over… do you?”

Michael:  

“What the fuck is going on here? Asa, turn that off. 

Luna, come here and Alex, please stop keying Asa’s car.”

Cheeky

Michael:

“Luna, that skirt is a little short. Don’t you think?”

“I don’t know, can you see my ass?”

“Yes I can.”

“It’s perfect then.”

“You’re not leaving in that.”

“Yes I am.”

“Fine but I’m adding a handprint.”

“What?!”

“You heard me.”

“Grrr, fine I’ll go change.”

         ~~~~~~

Asa:

“Luna you’re late, let’s go.”

“Sorry.”

“Hold on. That skirt is a little short, don’t you think?”

“But I wore it just for you!”

“Dammit, Luna. I can’t take you out in that.”

“Why not? I thought you liked my ass.”

“I do. It’s the handprint I can do without.”

Peepholes

 Michael:

“Luna! Where the hell are you going?”

“Nowhere.”

“What’s in your bag? It’s so heavy you can barely stand.”

“Nothing.”

“Bring it here. Good lord. What are you doing with all these power tools?”

“I’m using them to fix things, you know… things that need fixin’.”

“I don’t like the sounds of this.”

“Well, I wanted to keep it a surprise.”

“Oh, I bet you did. Go put them back where you found them.”

“Fine.”

“Luna, you’re going the wrong way.”

"Dammit."

~~~~~~

Alex:

“Luna! What are you doing?”

“I just installed a peephole in your door!”

“You just drilled a hole through my door and that’s it.”

“I know! You’re welcome.”

“Where are you going now?”

“Off to drill a couple for Asa.”

“Carry on then.”

~~~~~~

Michael:

“I thought I told you to put those tools away.”

“I’m headed there right now, promise.”

“Luna, what have you been up to all this time?”

“I installed a peephole in everyone’s door!”

“Everyone’s door?”

“Yup!”

“About four and a half feet up?”

“Of course!”

“Fuck.”

“Okay well if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go put these tools away now.”

“Luna?"

"Yes sir?"

"You’re going the wrong way.”

Accomplice

Asa:

“Listen up Anthony, we got a problem.”

“What is it, boss?”

“I got a guy that owes me a bit of money.”

“That’s unfortunate. What do you plan to do about it?”

“Blow up his house.”

“Hehehe. Damn, boss.”

“First I’m going to ransack it though. You know, recoup a little of my investment.”

“Completely understandable.”

“Then BOOM!”

“I love it when a plan comes together.”

“LUNA! What the hell are you doing here?”

“I let myself in, thank-you.”

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Not long but promise me if you decide to blow up someone’s house, you’ll let their pets out first.”

“What?”

“You know, after the ransacking and before the bomb goes off. If there are any pets, promise me you’ll let them out!”

“Luna, I was just kidding. I ain’t going to blow up anything.”

“Liar. Can I come with?”

“What? Fuck no.”

“I’m very good at stealing things.”

“You’re good at getting caught.”

“You seriously have no idea how many times I haven’t been caught.”

*dirty look*

“Trust me, I’m pretty good.”

“Anthony, we’ll have to come up with another plan.”

“Because of me?”

“Yes, Luna because of you. Now get out of here!”

“Wait, you could always take him out fishing then shoot him in the head and then stuff him in a crab pot and toss him in the water!”

“Luna, go.”

“Too much? Okay well maybe you could string him up a flagpole and fly him naked in front of city hall!”

“Go, go, go!”

“Stop being pushy. You know, you could lock him in a room with me! I could drive him crazy.”

“I don’t refute that but something tells me you’d just end up down his pants.”

“Wait, is he cute? Oh, this changes everything.”

“Goodbye, Luna!”

*door slam*

“You know I can still talk to you even though you’ve slammed the door in my face! …Hello! …Hello? Fine, guess I’ll go for a drive since I was in there long enough to steal a set of keys, a lighter, a pack of cigarettes and a wallet. God, I love it when a plan comes together.”

School Daze

Asa:

“Luna, what are you doing in my face?”

“I love the way you smell.”

“You’re making it hard for me to drink.”

“God, I love the way you smell when you drink.”

“Good, then let me. Will you?”

“Just one more whiff.”

“Luna, you know what happens when you press your tits against me for too long.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“I would and you know it.”

“You’re bluffing.”

“You have til the count of three.”

“HEY! You didn’t even start counting!”

“Hehehe. You like that don’t you, Luna.”

“Oh my god! People are staring.”

“Fuck, I wonder why.”

“Gosh, you’re going to get me into trouble… again.”

“I warned you.”

Alex: “LUNA!”

“Wha?...”

“Wake up! You’re dreaming in class... again. Let go of yourself and wipe the slobber off your book, please.”

Princess and the Pea

Michael:

"Luna, what’s troubling you?"

"Nothing."

"Quit stabbing at your vegetables then."

"I’m not hungry."

"It’s not their fault."

"I don’t like peas."

"What are you talking about? You love peas."

"Not today. Today I hate peas. Today I declare war on peas. Peas shall quake in my presence. Peas shall fear me and today, peas shall fly."

"Young lady, if you are loading up that spoon with the intent to launch your food, let me forewarn you such action will result in a myriad of consequences including but not limited to..."

Luna: *launches peas*

Flasher

“Luna, why are you still running around in a bathrobe?”

“I can’t find anything to wear.”

“Well you may want to cinch it up a bit.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re falling out of it.”

“Whoops!”

“That was hardly an accident.”

“Errant boobs.”

“Go change.”

“Hey, check out my pretty toenails!”

“Put your foot down and stop flashing me for god sakes!”

“I’m not trying to flash you. If I were, it would look like this.”

“OKAY! That’s enough of that.”

“Don’t you like what you see?”

“Close your robe, Luna.”

“I will, as soon as you quit staring.”

“I’ll stare forever if I want to, young lady.”

“Fine.”

“Christ. Pick your robe up and go get dressed. You’re going to make us late.”

“Where are we going?”

“I can’t talk to you while you’re standing here naked.”

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Putting your robe back on for you.”

“That is NOT how this garment is typically worn.”

“I don’t care. It’s covering all the vital parts again, hold still.”

“Don’t make it so tight!”

“We don’t need it slipping off again.”

“Will you at least let me have my arms back?”

“Ask Michael to help you, he’s been standing in the doorway watching this whole time.”

“Shit.”

Aye Papa

“The boys are speaking Spanish again.

Hate it when they do that.

Actually, it’s sexy as hell but I want to know what they’re saying.

Asa sounds pissed.

Hope he’s not mad at me.

Shit! I just heard my name.

Great, now Alex is mad too.

I have a feeling I’m in deep shit.

Wonder what for...

Could be a plethora of things, really.

Wish I could sneak out of here.

Can’t a girl rummage through a few coats in private anymore?

Uh-oh. Heard my name again.

I’m so fucked.

Wonder if Alex finally noticed the dent in his car.

Wonder if he thought it was Asa.

I wonder if…

Holy shit. Preparing to run in three, two…”

Asa:  “Hello Luna, missing something?”

Bird Brain

Michael:

“Luna, what do you have in your hands?”

“A bird.”

“Why are you carrying it around the house?”

“For fun.”

“Take it back outside before it gets away.”

“Okay.”

“Did you just put it in your mouth?”

*nods* 

“What the fuck did you do that for? Don’t answer that. 

Just go set it free, will you?

Idiot.”

Bad Santa

Alex: 

“So Luna, have you been a good girl for Santa this year?”

“Fuck no and why would you even ask.”

“He left you a present.”

“Ooh, give it to me!”

“Wait a minute. It doesn’t sound like you deserve it.”

“Well that wasn’t very nice. It sounds like Santa wanted me to have it or he wouldn’t have given it to you to give to me. So, hand it over.”

“Hey, maybe it’s for me! I just assumed it was for you since it was addressed to my little angel. I didn’t think Santa would be so mushy with me but I guess it’s possible.”

“It’s not for you. Give it here.”

“No. You’re being a brat.”

“Fine then I’ll go back to singing x-mas carols.”

“X-mas carols indeed. Take your present.”

“Oh yay! For me? You shouldn’t have.”

“I didn’t, trust me.”

“Oh look, earrings!”

“Nipple clips.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Try them on, Luna.”

“Ow! These earrings aren’t very nice.”

“I think it’s safe to say Santa bought those for you.”

“I take it I’m expected to wear these to the dinner party tonight?”

“Absolutely not!”

“Good, I’m not sure what Santa was thinking.”

"Me neither and that is the last time I offer to deliver a present."

Mission Accomplished

Alex:  “What the hell did you say that for?”

Luna:  “I’m sorry.”

“No, you get back here. Sorry doesn’t cut it this time.”

“I didn’t mean it!”

“Then you shouldn’t have said it.”

“I take it back.”

“Too late.”

“Ow!”

“Explanation yourself.”

“You don't have to be so rough.”

“I barely have a hold of you. Answer me.”

“I said it to get a reaction, I suppose.”

“Mission accomplished.”

“Ouch!”

"I am not hurting you."

"You're scaring me."

“You wanted a reaction and you got one. I'm angry now. Are you happy?”

“No.”

“Good.”

“I told you I didn’t mean it.”

“Words are powerful things, Luna. They’re weapons and you know it. I put up with a lot of bullshit from you but this time you've gone too far. You should have thought twice before telling me…”

Michael: “What's going on in here?”

Alex: “Nothing. I was just leaving.”

Stars

Alex:
“Luna, you look cold

Come here

That’s right

Climb inside my jacket

The wind has picked up

And put a chill in the air

Are you getting warmer?

I can feel your hands

Little lady

They’re frozen

We’ll go home soon

Promise

I just want to stay

A little bit longer

The stars are amazing tonight

And the moon is so bright

It stands out like you do

My dear

In a room full of pinpricks

Come on

Don’t fall asleep Luna

Look at the sky

There’s a star just waiting

To fall for you.

Ha!

Did you see it?

A falling star!

You saw it didn’t you?

Fantastic!

What are the odds

Okay well

I guess we can go now

Sorry if you’re cold

What’s that?

You want to stay?

Alright then

But just a little bit longer

Luna

What are you doing

Hey hey hey

Let go of my belt!

Knock that off

Knock it off, Luna

Or I’ll take you straight home 

Luna

I’m not kidding

God you’re persistent

Fine

Go get in the car

And thanks a lot

For the hard-on

Luna

God dammit.”

Baby It's Cold Outside

Alex:

“Luna, what are you doing?”

“I’m bored.”

“I can tell. Stop playing with my hair.”

“Do you think those Christmas carolers will ever come back?”

“Probably not and that was embarrassing.”

“I was just dancing, the only way I know how.”

“You put the ‘ass’ in holiday classics.”

“Let’s go caroling!”

“No way.”

“…I really should go…”

“Please, don’t start singing.”

“…I really can’t stay…”

“Just be quiet and sit down.”

“…This evening has been…”

“Not on my lap!”

“…So very nice…”

“Grrr.”

“…Michael will start to worry…”

“Speaking of him, he’ll be home at any moment.”

“…Asa will be pacing the floor…”

“Fuck that asshole.”

“…So really I’d better scurry…”

“At least get off my lap.”

“…But maybe just a half a drink more…”

“That is the last thing you need.”

“…I ought to say no, no, no sir....”

“That would be a first.”

“…At least I’m gonna say that I tried…”

“Hmph.”

“…I really can’t stay…”

“Good then get off my lap.”

“…But it’s cold outside!”

Michael: “Luna, get off his lap.”

“Yes sir.”

Candy From a Stranger

Luna went to the casino, on a mission to hunt down Asa. She got distracted along the way.

“Ooh, is that a bar? I could go for a drink right now. Kinda nervous.

Oh, dear lord. Will you look at that man talking to the bartender.

He looks filthy rich. Bet he’ll buy my drink, they always do. Time to order something nice.

Asshole. He didn’t buy my drink. Good thing I stole plenty of money from Alex.

Really? Now this guy wants to know my name? Should’ve bought my drink, mister.

Hey buddy, let go!

Calm down? No, you calm down mother fucker!

Apology accepted, just because you’re cute. No, I don’t want to sit down.

Ouch! Okay fine I guess I’ll sit down. Who the hell does this guy think he is?

Great. I finally tell him my name but he won’t tell me his. What a prick.

He’s a good looking prick though, damn. Smells so fine. Got me sticking around for no good reason.

I need a cigarette. Pretty sure he'll give me one.

What a bastard! He wants a kiss for a cigarette.

You know, I have no problem with that.

Oh.

My.

God.

Please never let this moment end.

Who the fuck is tapping on my shoulder?

Oh shit.

It's Asa.”