Friday, April 19, 2013

Drunken Shoe

Alex: “Luna, where’s your shoe?”

“Is it missing?”

“Are you wearing only one on purpose?”

“Oh my god, I think I’m missing a shoe.”

“Luna, where is it?”

“I dunno. Are you wearing my shoe?”

“I am most definitely not wearing your shoe.”

“Do you know where it is?”

“I asked you. Where is your other shoe?”

“I threw it out the window.”

“Why on earth did you throw it out the window?”

“Well, because I saw you walking outside on the sidewalk and I was wondering if I could hit you with my shoe. Turns out, the answer is no.”

“Luna, that wasn't very nice.”

“It was completely harmless, obviously.”

“Go get your shoe.”

“Would you be a dear and go get it for me?”

“If I go fetch your shoe, you’re not getting it back.”

“Well, that wouldn't be very nice.”

“Luna, have you been drinking?”


“How many have you had?”


“You’re holding up four fingers.”

“I know. The middle one was for you.”


“Oh calm down, I've got to go get my shoe. I can’t believe you didn't notice it was missing. I’ll be right back!”

Sunday, April 7, 2013

I Scream

Alex: “Luna, what are you doing? Everyone is outside looking for you.”

“Go tell them you haven’t seen me.”

“You’re sitting on my couch eating ice cream.”

“No, I’m not. It’s an illusion.”

“An illusion?”

“Yup, an illusion.”

“Hmmm. Well then, I guess the illusion wouldn’t mind if I took my ice cream back.”

“Hey! That wasn’t very nice and it was the illusion’s favorite flavor.”

“Are those my slippers?”

“Maybe. You have big feet.”

“Luna, how the hell did you even get in here?”

“Through the doggie door, in the back.”

“I don’t have a doggie door here, anywhere.”

“You do now! It doesn’t actually have a door on it yet. It’s just a big hole but you’re welcome.”

“I don’t even want to go look.”

“Suit yourself but I think you’ll like it, I made it as big as possible.”

“Fuck, Luna.”

“Don’t have to ask me twice! Bring it on cowboy, yeeee-haw! Hey, who are you calling?”

“Michael, I found her. Yes, please come get her. Yes, as soon as possible if not quicker. Yes, you’ll need the check book again. Thanks, bye.”