Monday, September 15, 2014

Master Chef

Asa to Luna:

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m baking cookies!”

“Luna, give me the torch.”

“No wait.”

“Give me the torch, Luna.”

“No, god dammit!”

“Luna, the counter’s on fire!”

“Okay, they’re done then.”

“Jesus christ.”

Friday, September 12, 2014


Alex to Asa:

“Where is Luna?”

“Over there shaking her pompoms.”

“Oh, that’s embarrassing. Someone should stop her.”

“Hey, you’re the one that gave them to her.”

“I did not!”

“Weird. I wonder where she got them then.”

“I’m guessing from the angry cheerleader behind her.”

“Fuck, he looks mad.”

“He looks really mad.”

“I got my money on Luna. She likes her pompoms.”

“I got my money on him, since he just took them away.”

“That ain’t gonna go over well.”

“It appears she’s getting a little lippy.”

“Oh fuck! I can’t believe he just shoved one in her mouth and left.”

“She looks pissed but somewhat proud.”

“I told you she likes her pompoms.”

Thursday, September 4, 2014



“What babe.”

“Have you ever killed anyone you didn’t mean to?”

“No, why.”

“Just wondering.”

“I meant to do it. If that’s what you’re asking.”

“He seemed nice.”

“Shut up and finish your dinner.”


Monday, September 1, 2014

Fair Trade

Dear Diary,

Went to the fair today! It was fun but I kept getting into trouble. Sometimes not on purpose. The cotton candy was humongous, way bigger than my face. Papa got mad when I got it in my hair and all over a few other people. He finally took it away.

I liked the rides! Got in trouble for screaming. Apparently you’re supposed to wait til it starts and I guess no one else does it on the ferris wheel.

Papa said I wasn’t allowed on the carousel. Said I wasn’t mature enough. I just wanted it to go faster last time and might've got carried away announcing it.

They had animals there, all different kinds. I wanted to take all of them home but papa said no. Actually he said, hell no you crazy damn child now get the fuck out of that goat enclosure. So I did. The silly farmer wanted to take me home. It took longer than expected but papa said no again.

The clowns were my favorite, tall as the sky! One of them gave me a big clown nose, he stuck it on my face. I laughed and laughed but papa didn’t think it was funny. I called him a grumpy old bastard and he shoved it in my mouth. That, he thought was funny.

I still have it. Going to wear it first thing in the morning and wake him up to see what happens. I can’t wait! I’ll tell you all about it if he doesn’t tether me to a tree for a week. It wasn’t very nice of the farmer to give him that idea. Hey, I wonder if he’s noticed he’s missing a rooster yet. Hmm.

Well, goodnight!