Sunday, November 23, 2014
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Asa to Alex:
“What the hell is that noise?”
“It’s Luna. She’s drunk again, out on the balcony singing opera.”
“Make her stop.”
“You. I think it’s funny.”
“She’s actually pretty good at it.”
“She is not, you fuckball!”
“Did you know she could sing in Italian?”
“That is not Italian.”
“Whatever. I love it when she pisses you off.”
“I’m putting a stop to this.”
“Great, so what’s stopping you?”
“The sword and viking helmet.”
Posted by NR at 10:39 AM
“Luna, what are you doing?”
“Stuffing a turkey.”
“With what, dare I ask?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“I don’t like your kitchen surprises.”
“You don’t like any of my surprises, sir.”
“No, I don’t. Just promise me you’ll be careful, okay? I got to go. I’m late for a meeting.”
“I hate your stupid meetings.”
“I know you do.”
“Stay home then.”
“I wish I could but I can’t.”
“Where are my keys? They were sitting right here.”
“Not sure. Move so I can put this bitch in the oven.”
“It’s kind of heavy, sir.”
“Luna, where are my keys?”
Monday, November 10, 2014
I heard you had a bad day.
Tomorrow will be better.
Want to talk about it?
Could you at least do me a favor and stop throwing darts?
Aim at the board then.
So, tell me what happened.
Did someone make you mad?
Who was it.
It was me?
Hey, let go of my tie.
Let go of my tie, hon.
Come on now, let go.
What did I do to make you mad?
Well in all fairness,
You were going to get in trouble anyway,
And I just wanted to watch.
Give me those darts.
And for the last time, let go of my tie.
God, you’ve got one hell of a grip.
Think I'll get out of here before you grab something else.
Posted by NR at 11:33 AM
Saturday, November 1, 2014
I read your apology letter to the school board.
You spelled cock sucker wrong.
And there’s no need to hyphenate mother fuckers.
What were you thinking.
Oh and for future reference, the gentleman’s name is Peter.
Unfortunately the school board read your letter before I did.
Michael is waiting for you downstairs.
You’re on your own, little missy.
Or is ‘Little Miss Luna Bitch to You Wrinkled Assholes’ your official new title.
Thanks for the bird, sunshine.
Posted by NR at 9:59 AM