Thursday, February 27, 2014


She sat on the corner of the couch.
A glass of wine in one hand,
A cigarette in the other.
Her attitude wasn’t proper,
And neither were her manners.
Luna was her name,
And she was crazy.
Crazy like the moon.
She was young but she wasn’t.
She was nice but she wasn’t.
She was taken,
But then again she wasn’t.
An unsuspecting victim,
Took a seat beside her.
Luna fell into his arms.
She spilt her wine,
But just on him.
Because she’s crazy,
Crazy like the moon.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014



“Where’s your paper that’s due today?”


“You have a paper due today.”


“…on being punctual.”

“That was a stupid assignment.”


“I really thought you were kidding.”

“You are always late, with everything you do.”

“Am not!”

“Then where’s your paper?”

“It’ll be done next week as I am currently first studying the negative effects of unpunctual type behavior before studying the positive type behavior so as to provide a complete, non-partial and unbiased view of the afore mentioned topic, you see.”

“Park it and start writing.”

“Fine. So are you going to sit there and stare at me the whole time?”


“Great. That’s not distracting at all. Now, I’ve forgot what the assignment was about.”


“Oh, I remember now. This’ll be easy, pay attention. This is a comma, this is a period and this is an exclamation point!”


“Sometimes the exclamation points are upside down and I don’t know what that’s all about but I think it’s funny.”

“You think that’s funny do you?”



“Ouch! Hey, where did you get a ruler and how the hell do you expect me to write after you smack my hand?”


“Ow! Hey it stings on the thigh, too.”

“Punctuality. Start writing and prove to me you understand it.”

“How about I prove it by making reservations for us tonight and we not be late?”


“Come on! It’s either that or you can sit here and stare at me while I don’t write a god damn thing for the next couple of hours.”


“God dammit, give me that thing!”


Thursday, February 20, 2014

Dirty Dancing

Alex to Asa:

“Have you seen Luna?”

“She’s over there dancing.”

“Oh god, so she is.”

“At least everyone’s keeping their distance.”

“Especially the way she’s swinging that bottle around.”

“Oh fuck! That guy did not see that coming.”

“Didn’t even faze her.”

“She hasn’t been this drunk in a while.”

“At least she’s happy.”

“Holy shit!”

 “That had to hurt.”

“I think she clocked the same fucking dude!”

“He needs to watch where he’s going.”

 “And Luna still has no fucking clue.”

“He’s getting up a lot slower this time.”

“And Luna finally sees him there.”

“Oh dear. Did she just hit him for fun?”

“Yup, I gotta go.”

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Happy Birthday to Me

“Hello Papa! I missed you so much, glad you’re home.”

“I’m happy to be home. It’s been a long week.”

“Happy birthday, sir!”

“Thank-you, Luna.”

“I got you something.”

“You shouldn’t have.”

“Open it!”

“I’ve gotten two other presents already.”

“From who?”

“Well, Asa got me this big-ass wood paddle and Alex gave me your grades! So what pray tell is in this little box…”

“Give that back!”

“You’re not quick enough, little missy.”

“God dammit.”

“Oh, will you look at that! Coming from the girl who doesn’t like to wear thongs, you finally got yourself a variety pack. How thoughtful, Luna. Say… you aren’t wearing a pair right now, are you?”

“Hey! I can’t believe you just did that.”

“A red pair! Happy birthday to me.”

Friday, February 14, 2014


“Luna, what have you done?”


“I liked that girl!”

“I think that was part of the problem.”

“Pretty sure she’s never coming back.”


“Dammit, Luna! You had no right to chase her off.”

“Well I did and I’d do it again, so there.”

“If I want to see someone, I should be able to do so without you freaking the fuck out.”

“You should be able to, but you can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I like you.”

“Don’t go there.”


“Stop pouting.”

“I wasn’t the one that chased off your stupid girlfriend, anyway. It was Asa.”

“What does that prick have to do with this?”

“Him and I were fighting at his place and she walked in.”

“What the hell was she doing at his place?”

“That’s what I wanted to know! But instead of asking, I just started strangling her.”

“God, Luna.”

“Then Asa came up from behind and I thought he was going to pull me off but he grabbed her ass instead.”


“She got mad and started kicking. That’s when I let go. Asa apologized for his little ‘mishap’ but she wasn’t buying it and kicked him in the balls.”

“Fuck, yes.”

“So I hit her over the head with my purse.”


“She pushed me over the couch and left. We’ll hope for good.”

“I am so pissed off right now.”

“It’s okay sir, she wasn’t really your type.”

“Oh and what is my type?”


“Get out of here, Luna.”


“Michael’s home.”

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Girl Interrupted

“Asa, I don’t like that new chic in town. Can you make her disappear?”

“What? No, Luna. She’s a nice lady.”

“Oh my god, you’ve already talked to her?”

“Yeah, a little bit. Calm down.”

“I totally hate her now.”


“She is… well as you would say, not in my best interest.”

“What is going on, Luna.”

“I found a red hair in Alex’s car. I was this close to setting it on fire.”

“So what if he gave her a ride somewhere?”

“I wasn’t aware he had so much free time! I can fix that.”

“Alex is a pussy, why do you even care. Just focus on making the guy you do have, happy.”

“I could never make you happy.”

“I was talking about Michael.”


“Just ignore her, okay?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“That’s an order, drop it.”

“You’ve already fucked her, haven’t you!”

“None of your business.”

“Oh, this means war you fucking asshole!”

“Stop throwing things, Luna.”

“Give me one good reason!”

“There’s a lady at the door.”

Tuesday, February 11, 2014



“Crazy party, eh? So you must be the new girl.
My name is drunk and I am so fucked up right now, yay.
Wanna shot?
No? Good, I didn’t want to share it.
Not my beverage of choice but hey, you steal what you can.
Oh great. Now we’re being stared at.
See that guy in the shadows over there?
He is the biggest asshole on the planet.
He’s also sexy as fuck and hung like a horse but he is mean.
A total badass.
Ain’t nothing that prick wouldn’t do to a woman to pleasure himself.
Not that I would know.
Anyway, he’s watching us.
You look nervous.
Am I making you nervous?
It must be my hand on your thigh.
Sorry, I need a little assistance to remain upright at this point.
Sure you don’t want a shot?
Oh look! Alex is here, yay.
He’s a pretty cute guy too but he does NOT put out.
Matter of fact he’s a downright tease.
That’s okay, I like a challenge.
I’ll break that man one of these days.
NOTHING will stand in my way, know that sister.
Oh shit, Michael is here. 
I gotta go.
Hey lighten up, will you? You’re at a fucking party.
And by the way, I love your long red hair.”

Sunday, February 9, 2014



“Excuse me Alex, for sending the lady out of the room but I think this is a conversation best held between two men.”

“You don’t qualify. What have you got Luna into now?”

“Hey if you didn’t hear anything you can leave.”

“I heard everything, pity if Michael were to find out about this.”

“How’s that black eye treating you?”

“Fantastic, thank-you. It’s got Luna pouring all over me.”

“Speaking of Luna, it’d be a pity if she were to find out about your new girlfriend.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re pretty ballsy, bringing her around here. Luna is a terrible sport.”

“She’s just a friend, prick.”

“I love her long red hair. I’d fuck her… given half the chance.”

“You leave her out of this!”

“No, YOU leave her out of this. Walk out of here and forget everything you heard. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a little cleanup to do.”

“Try to be thorough, would you.”

“I plan on it.”

Saturday, February 8, 2014



“So Luna, did something happen today you want to tell me about?”

“No, not really.”

“Someone told me you spent a few hours digging a hole in the yard. You want to tell me what for?”

“You know, just gardening.”

“And by gardening you mean planting dead people?”

“Just one.”

“I see. And someone also told me you have a gun. Is this true?”

“Hahaha! No, of course not.”

“Hahaha! No of course not, what was I thinking. So where is it?”

“Threw it in the hole with the body.”

“You planted it?”

“I planted it.”

“So exactly who is in the hole, Luna?”

“Dig him up if you really want to know.”

“Plan on it.”

“Okay, I need to go now.”

“You need my help to cover this up, female and I really need to know where the gun is.”

“You would help me?”

“It’s in my best interest.”

“You’re so wonderful, sir.”

“Where’s the gun, Luna?”

“Are you sure I can’t keep it?”

“NOT in my best interest.”

“It’s in my purse.”

“Go home and act normal, leave the purse here.”

“I don’t want to go home. I bet Alex is there.”

“What a fucking pain in the ass. You tell him nothing little girl and I mean nothing. I’ll kill him to keep this quiet.”

“You leave Alex out of this.”

“No YOU leave Alex out of this… or else."

Alex: “Or else what.”

Friday, February 7, 2014

Told You So

“Hi Luna!”

“What the fuck! Jordon? Is that you?”

“Yes, it is.”

“But you’re supposed to be dead!”

“I know.”

“How did you get in here?”

“I’ve missed you, Luna.”

“Get the fuck away from me!”

“Whoa! You carry a gun now? Put it away babe, you’re scaring me.”

“Stop right there or I’ll blow your fucking head off.”

“You don’t really mean it, do you?”

“I do.”

“Well, I guess there’s just one way to...”


Thursday, February 6, 2014

Almost There

Luna was headed to Asa’s and she almost made it there but Alex caught up from behind. He took her hand and wouldn’t let go. She tried to put up a fight.

The night was cold, she finally gave up and Alex walked her home. Asa watched from a darkened room, through the scope on his gun. 

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Black Eye

Luna to Alex:

“Oh my god, your eye! What happened?”

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Ouch, yes! Don’t touch it Luna.”

“Did you and Asa get in a fight?”

“I don’t get in fights, Luna. He just walked up and punched me.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Your crush on him is maddening, girl.”


*dirty look*

“I’ll go get you some ice.”

“Don’t bother.”

“It looks like it hurts!”

“Stop touching it! What the hell is wrong with you? Do you like it when I poke you in the eye?”

“Ow! What the fuck was that for?”

“Watch your language.”

“You are in a horrible mood.”

“I wonder why.”

“I think it’s time for a drink.”

“No thanks.”

“I meant for me but I’ll bring you back some ice.”

“Luna, I’m fine just do me a favor. Go and don’t come back. I’m not in the mood for your company.”

“You don’t really mean that. Do you?”

“Please don’t give me that look.”

“I can’t believe you’re mad at me!”

“I never said I was...”

“Don’t worry. I’ll leave you alone, promise.”

“Where are you going?”

“To go get drunk… with Asa!”

“You to stop right there!”

*door slam*

"God dammit.”

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Bad Behavior

Alex to Asa:

“Where are you headed with Luna?”

“None of your damn business.”

“Luna, where is he taking you?”

“Don’t answer that. Get in the car.”

“Luna, you’re supposed to be at my place in an hour.”

“And she will be! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Why don’t you just answer the question?”

“Fuck off. I don’t answer to you.”

“Get out of the car, Luna.”

“Don’t you dare. Alex, get the fuck out of the way! I have no problem running your ass over.”

“Luna, get out of the car before he runs me over.”

“You stay there female or I guarantee I will.”

“Rev up your car all you want, asshole!”

“Luna, I hate that mother fucker. You don’t mind if I run him over… do you?”


“What the fuck is going on here? Asa, turn that off. 
Luna, come here and Alex, please stop keying Asa’s car.”

Sunday, February 2, 2014



“Luna, that skirt is a little short. Don’t you think?”

“I don’t know, can you see my ass?”

“Yes I can.”

“It’s perfect then.”

“You’re not leaving in that.”

“Yes I am.”

“Fine but I’m adding a handprint.”


“You heard me.”

“Grrr, fine I’ll go change.”



“Luna you’re late, let’s go.”


“Hold on. That skirt is a little short, don’t you think?”

“But I wore it just for you!”

“Dammit, Luna. I can’t take you out in that.”

“Why not? I thought you liked my ass.”

“I do. It’s the handprint I can do without.”