Thursday, October 18, 2012

Prick


“Hi Asa. Can I come in?”

“Yeah, what do you want.”

“Nothing, I just want to talk to someone.”

“Isn't that what Alex is for?”

“I suppose.”

“I don’t have the time to entertain you tonight, Luna.”

“I don’t want to be entertained.”

“Go find Michael.”

“He’s not here.”

“Go find Alex then!”

“No! I don’t want to …and why are you being such a prick bastard?”

“What did you call me?”

“A. prick. bastard. Would you like me to repeat that in another language? Would that be helpful?”

“Think twice before you keep talking.”

“Would you understand it better if I said it in Spanish? El pricko bastardo!”

“That’s enough.”

“I can say it in Italian… prickissimo bastardetto!”

“Shut the fuck up, Luna.”

“German? Das prick.”

“NO MORE!”

“Wait, wait. I want to say it in Chinese… Yoo peek bah-stad. Hahahaha!”

“That’s it.”

*running, screaming*

*chasing, cursing*

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry, I didn't mean it, let me go!”

“Too late.”

“Fine, I get to say it in French then. La pweek bastarde! Hahahaha, hey… where are we going?”

“We aren‘t going anywhere. You however, are leaving. Immediately.”

“Oh come on, you can handle a little name-calling, can’t you?”

“Let go of the door frame.”

“No!”

“Luna, if you don’t get out of my office, right now, I‘m going to show you just exactly what a real prick I can be. It’s your choice.”

“Okay fine, I’m leaving. Your fly is open… Ha! Made you look.”

“GO!”

*door slam*

“Prick.”

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Paint


“Luna, what the hell is going on here?”

“I’m painting my room!”

“Where did you find a gallon of paint?”

“In the garage.”

“Why the fuck is it all over the floor?”

“Whoops.”

“Luna, this floor is irreplaceable!”

“What do you mean? You replaced half of it last year, when I tore it up looking for hidden treasures, remember?”

“I remember.”

“You look really mad.”

“That’s because I am.”

“Oh ,come on! Why can’t I paint my stupid room?”

“Give me the paint brush.”

“No.”

“Give it.”

“No!”

“Fine. If that’s the way you want it.”

“Whoa! Okay fine, here it is! Just put your stupid belt back on. No need to get all testy and stuff. Is it the color? Maybe we could negotiate.”

“No, go get cleaned up.”

“Cleaned up, why?”

“Because you are covered in paint.”

“Am not!”

“Oh really? Why don’t you go look in the mirror.”

“I can’t.”

“I know you can‘t because you painted over it, too.”

“That’s because… I didn’t like the way I was looking at me!”

“Have you been drinking?”

“Noooo!”

“Really?”

“Of course not. Okay, well maybe just a little but… Hey, put the damn belt back on! Sheesh.”

“GO GET CLEANED UP!”

“Fine! So you really don’t like the color, do you?”

“Luna, it doesn’t matter what I think of the color.”

“Yes, it does.”

“Why?”

“Because I started in your room.”

“You what?!”

“Just kidding! Hahahaha! …Hey, I said I was just… OUCH! FUCK!”

“Where do you think you’re going, get back here.”

“No! You and you’re stupid belt!”

“Stop running around! The floor is wet, you’re going to slip and……  fall.”

“Ow. So, now you tell me.”

*sigh*

“Now my butt really hurts.”

“That’s unfortunate because your ass hasn’t even begun to feel the pain it deserves tonight.”

“Hey, my ass is fragile and one of a kind and you should be nice to it!”

“Your ass has no chance. Go get cleaned up.”

“Fine, but just for the record I… OUCH! You and you’re damn fucking belt!”

“You should start counting these.”

“No! That’s stupid, you count them.”

“COUNT!

“OKAY ONE! One already, there I said it… but that’s not fair, it’s really two. Now leave me alone so I can go get cleaned up. Damn.”

“Faster!”

“OUCH! Hey, stop chasing me!”

“COUNT!”

“TWO! Two but really three! This is stupid and you’re being extra mean tonight.”

“LUNA! There is FUCKING PAINT EVERYWHERE!”

*pout*

“Don’t you dare start pouting.”

“I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

“I think you did.”

“I wanted to surprise you with something but I screwed it up.”

“Don’t try to turn this around, Luna.”

“I’m not!”

“You knew I wouldn’t be happy.”

*silence*

“But you did it anyway.”

*smile*

“You must like the belt.”

“Noooooo, Of course I don’t!”

“For the last time Luna, go get…”

“Go get cleaned up! I know I’m going but for someone who’s supposed to be pissed off over a stupid paint job, you sure got a big smile on your face! …OUCH, three but really four.”