Thursday, November 29, 2012


Michael: “HEY! What’s going on in here?”

Luna: “It’s Alex’s fault! He smacked my ass with a ruler HARD and for no good reason!”

Alex: “It’s true I did. She bent over and I had a ruler in my hand. I couldn’t help it.”

Luna: “See, he even admitted it. Do something, sir!”

Michael: “Like what.”

Luna: “Tell him to never do that again!”

Michael: “I’m more tempted to remind you to stop bending over in front of men the way you do, Luna.”

Luna: “Alex, stop laughing!”

Alex: “Hey give me back my ruler, Luna!”

Michael: “I’ll take that ruler and if you’re smart Luna, you’ll take a seat… wise choice.”

Friday, November 23, 2012

Bad Teacher

Alex: “Give me your hand, Luna.”


“Trust me!”

“Okay…” *giggles*

“Good, now give me your other one.”

“Why? What are you doing?”

“Your hands are freezing, my dear.”

“I know, that’s because it’s cold out here! You didn’t answer my question.”

“What’s that, my dear?”

“What are you doing with my hands?”

“I’m warming them up. Would you like me to stop?”

“Noooo. I kind of like this but you’re going to get me in trouble!”

“In trouble, why?”

“Well because if Michael saw us like this, he would NOT be very happy.”

“Luna, this is perfectly innocent.”


“Hey come closer, you look like a frozen little popsicle!”

“I feel like one! …but ooooooh hey, now that feels nice. You’re so warm and you smell… you smell so good.”

“Hands up here, Luna.”


“That’s better.”

“Mmmm. I’m in heaven.”

“There’s a million stars out tonight.”

“Yes, there is and it’s beeeautiful!”

”Beautiful, kind of like you.”

*giggles, sighs*

Michael: “What the hell is going on here?”

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Stupid Party

Michael: “Luna where the fuck have you been?”

“In the limo smoking weed!”

“I am NOT impressed.”

“Just because you don’t think it’s very lady-like.”

“There’s nothing wrong with expecting you to act like a lady. Speaking of which, you have ash on your teeth.”

“Oh shit! …Hold on …Okay, did I get it?”


“How about now?”


“How about now?”

“Oh for Christ’s sake Luna, hold still…… there.”

“Damn sir! You could’ve been a little nicer about it, sheesh. Where the hell have your fingers been? Gross.”

“Shut up. I wanted to go back to the party but fuck, Luna, you look wasted!”

“You said but fuck! That’s funny. I’m hungry. Ooh, I see food.”

“Luna, wait up.”

“Lots of food, yay! Want a celery stick?”


“How about some of these little baby shrimpy dude looking things?”


“Cranky wanna cracker?”

“Put down the fucking food, Luna! I’m not very happy with this little stunt you’ve pulled.”

“Well, I’m not very happy you made me be here, so there.”

“You have to learn to get along with people at some point.”

“No, I don’t. People are stupid. I don’t want to be nice or lady-like. I don’t even think I was supposed to be born a lady, you know that? I bet I was supposed to be a boy.”

“Luna, put down that sausage.”  

“Check out my magnificent weenie! Oh yeah, baby! Stroke it, stroke it!”

“People are staring, stop it!”

“Hey careful, you don’t have permission to touch my weenie.”

“I’m warning you, put it down.”

“You know what else I like to do with a nice big weenie?”

“Do NOT give that sausage a blow job, Luna…… put it back on the table, Luna…… don’t you dare…… DAMMIT LUNA! ”

“Hey! What did you do with my weenie? Where are we going? We were just getting started! Let go of my ear!”

“I’ve had enough of you, we’re going home.”

“So early? You’re such a party pooper.”

“Where’s your coat?”

“I dunno.”

“Where’s your purse?”

“I dunno that either but you know what I do know? I know that lady back there in the green dress has a lot of pills in her purse, or had them there anyway. You know what else I know? Her old man was kissing another lady in the hallway, poorly I might add. You know what else I know? I’m still hungry but that’s not what I was going to say. You know what else I know? I know all the letters of the alphabet backwards! Asa said I should practice for some reason, wanna hear me practice? …Sir? Where did you get that roll of duct tape from?  That’s an awfully weird thing to be carrying around with you at a party, don’t you th….”