Thursday, June 4, 2015

Dear Abby


“Luna, what are you doing?”

“Setting the table.”

“You’re not just stabbing it with utensils again, are you?”


“Knock it off.”

“Almost done.”

Friday, May 29, 2015

Pretty Pretty Please

God dammit.

Maybe I should’ve put on shoes before coming out here to spy on Asa.
Where’d he go anyway.

Ah, there he is and I thought so.
He brought that skank home from the party.
That is disgusting.

Damn shrub.
Stop poking me in the ass.
I'm not in the mood. 

Oh my god.
I think he just saw me.
Hold still, hold very fucking still.

That was close.
Guess I should’ve worn something darker.
And a pair of shoes. 

Oh gross.
They’re laughing.
She’s not funny, you asshole!
You’re just horny.

I was at the party.
You’ve should’ve paid attention to me.
But you didn’t and now you have to pay.

Damn shrub!
I told you to stop poking me in the…

Alex is behind me.
I am so busted.

Hold still, hold very fucking still.
Maybe he doesn’t see me.

He’s picking leaves out of my hair now.
I think he sees me.

Alright, alright! 
I’ll go back inside but I forgot my shoes.
Carry me, please?

Pretty please? 

Pretty, pretty please? 


Monday, May 25, 2015

Fashion Police

Luna to Michael:

“Papa, I want a mohawk.”


“Why not?”

“It isn’t lady like.”

“Well, neither am I.”

“And it’d be dangerous.”

“What do you mean?”

“Luna if you had spiky hair, you’d be running around stabbing people with it and you know it.”


“Popping children’s balloons.”

“That’d be funny.”

“And slashing car tires.”

“Ooh, I never thought of that.”

“The answer is no.”

“Oh, come on! All I wanted to do was to store fruit up there.”


“Like fruit kabobs.”

“The answer is no.”

“God dammit, you’re no fun.”

Saturday, May 23, 2015


Luna to Asa:



“Stop pulling my hair.”


“Knock it off!”

“I thought you liked it when I pull your hair.”

“I do.”

“Alright then.”

“God dammit! I said cut it out.”

“Don't yell when we're in public.”

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Downtown III

Taxi Headquarters:

“A call just came in, you've got to go pick up a young girl from fourth and main.”

“It isn’t that Luna girl again, is it?”

“Could be.”

“Last time I drove her somewhere I had to clean lipstick off all the windows.”

“At least she used lipstick on your car. She used nail polish on mine.”

“I don’t want to go pick her up!”

“Hold on, there’s another call coming in.”

“Oh lord. Please tell me she’s cancelled.”

“It’s your lucky day. She cancelled.”


“I guess the sergeant picked her up.”

Downtown II

Alex to Asa:

“Luna just called from a payphone. You've got to go pick her up.”

“Where the hell is she?”

“Downtown fourth and main, again.”

“You go pick her up. I just got my car back from the shop.”

“What happened?”

“She lit a brick of lady fingers and put it in the glove box.”

 “Hey, at least you got your car back at all.”

“Divers didn’t have any luck then?”



“So go pick her up.”

“Fuck that. I’m calling her a cab.”

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Downtown I

Two Cops:

“Damn, I can’t believe we picked up Luna again.”

“I can. That bitch is crazy.”

“Go ahead and put her in your car.”

“No way, man. Put her in yours.

“Fuck that. The last time I did she set it on fire.”

“Oh yeah? Well she threw up in mine.”

“I hear the sergeant’s been banging her in his car.”

“Lucky bastard.”

“No shit.”

“Maybe we should just let her go.”

“I like that idea.”

“You know, in the interest of public safety.”

“I’d feel safer.”

“Yup, me too.”

“Are you going to get your handcuffs back?”

“It doesn't look like it.”

“She’s admiring them, isn't she.”


“See you back at the station.”