Monday, December 31, 2012


Luna: “Fuck Asa, you scared me!”

“What the hell is going on in here? Why aren’t you downstairs?”

“Because this is the stupidest dinner party, ever.”

“What’s that smell?”


“It’s coming from your purse.”

“Hey, give that back!”

“What the hell Luna, a crab? You stole an entire crab?”

“Yeah, so what. I’m hungry.”

“You couldn’t wait ten minutes and eat with everyone else?”

“Apparently not. Hey! Why did you throw it on the floor?”

“That’s disgusting Luna.”

“No it’s not.”

“Where are you going with it?”

“I’m going to eat it.”

“How the hell are you going to crack it?”

“With this…”

“A mallet?”


“Are you serious? Where the hell did you even get that thing?”

“Don’t remember.”

“Don’t you dare pound that thing on the dresser.”

“I’d stand back if I were you.”

“You’re going to make a fucking mess.”

“Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure I can hit him.”

“Oh god…”


“That wasn’t very effective, now was it Luna.”

“No but I bet the legs are around here somewhere.”

Michael: “What the hell is going on in here? Why aren’t you downstairs? What the hell is that smell? What is all over your dress? Asa, what the hell did Luna do now?”


“Never mind, I don’t want to know. Luna, get your ass downstairs.”

“Looking like this? No way.”

“GO! …or I’m going to take that crab leg out of your hair and shove it up your nose!”

“Sir, you wouldn’t really do that, would you?”

*reaches for it*

*screams and runs away*

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Joy Ride

Asa: “I wouldn't go in there if I were you.”

Alex: “Why not?”

“Luna just got busted for taking the limo on a joyride.”

“I didn't know she could drive.”

“She can’t.”

“Michael sounds pissed.”

“He is. She really did some damage.”

“Is it totaled?”

“The lawn? Yes.”

“Fuck. Wish I could have been there.”

“Me too. There’s more than one set of tracks. I’m not sure what else she got a hold of.”


“Yup. So what brings you here?”

“I can’t find my fucking keys.”

Monday, December 24, 2012


Michael: “LUNA!”

“Yes sir?”

“Why is there a litter of kittens in my office?”

“I found them, aren’t they cute?”

“Found them where?”

“Outside with their mama! See, I brought her in too.”

“So why did you bring them into my fucking office?”

“Because I like it in here.”

“You know I don’t like cats.”

“Yes you do and look, this one likes you back!”

“Luna, get it off of me.”

“No, just pet it!”

“It’s not my kind of pussy.”

“Come on, he wants to stay! I’ll just set him right here.”



“He’s peeing on my desk.”


“Take them back outside.”

“Not until you help me name this one.”

“Dog Food. Do you want me to name the rest?”


“Chew Toy?”


“Speed Bump?”


“Target Practice.”

“Stop it!”

“Take them away.”

“Tell them you’re sorry.”

“The only one that’s going to be sorry here is you.”

“I wasn’t the one who peed on your desk.”

“Yes, and let me take this opportunity to say… DON’T YOU EVER EVEN THINK OF IT!”

“You must think I’m crazy!”

“Like a rabid rabbit.”

“Rabbits are cute, do you like rabbits?”

“Yes I do, for dinner.”


“Don’t forget this one, Luna.”

“I can’t hold them all. Will you help me?”

“Sure, come here.”

“Hey! You stuck him down my shirt!”

“I’d get moving if I were you, he looks restless.”

“Hahaha, it tickles!”

“Luna, what are you doing now?”

“Putting them all down my shirt! This will be funny.”


“There! Hahaha, I love kittens.”

“Wonderful. Now pick up their mother and go before another one has to use the bathroom.”


“Bet you didn’t think of that, did you?”


“Well stop thinking about it and go!”

“Will you get the door?”


“I’ll be back, sir.”

“That’s fantastic.”

Tuesday, December 18, 2012


Alex: “Where did Luna go?”

Asa: “She’s outside building a snowman, check it out.”

“Oh dear, she certainly is. I don’t think that’s traditionally where the carrot goes.”

“No and I don’t think Frosty had coal for testicles either.”

“Makes me wonder what’s in store for his face.”

“Well, she brought out a bag. God only knows what’s in it.”

“Ah I see, she’s reaching in there now and found something.”

“No fucking way...”

“Did she just use a dildo for his nose?”

“Yup and she’s fallen over, laughing about it.”

“Precious. Now she’s making snow angels.”

“I don’t think you can call them angels when Luna does them.”

“Now what is she doing?”

“Back in the bag and this time she’s found a pair of sunglasses. Those look familiar.”

“Hey, those are my fucking mine!”

“Aw… and look at how she bending them to fit his face.”

“God dammit, Luna.”

“Don’t stop her, this is entertaining!”

“Did she just whip out a bra?”

“Bright red in color.”

“Poor fucking snowman.”

“It’s not for him, apparently she just needed a hat.”

“Oh that’s stunning, safe to say she’s been drinking then?”


“Oh look, I think she’s had enough. She’s on her hands and knees and… OH MY GOD she’s sucking off the carrot.”

“In fine form, too.”

“This is just wrong. I should go put a stop to this.”

“Then why haven’t you moved.”

“All in good time.”

Friday, December 14, 2012

Oh, Tannenbaum

Michael: “Luna stand by the tree, I want to take a picture.”


“Luna pull your dress back down, I’m not in the mood.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Stand a little closer to the tree.”

“Like this?”

“Luna get out of the tree.”

“Sheesh, okay. Is this better?”

“Perfect. Now stand still and wipe that stupid grin off your face.”

“That’s my normal smile.”

“No it is not, Luna! Now fucking smile like a normal fucking girl so I can take this fucking god damn picture!”


“That’s very nice Luna, now hold it… *click* …Did you just stick out your tongue?”


“Oh you think that’s funny? I dare you to stick it out again.”


“Why not.”

“Because you’re kind of quick.”

“And don’t you forget it. This is your last chance Luna, smile or else.”

“Or else what? Okay, dumb question. Hey! Let go of my hand. Where are you taking me?”

“I warned you.”

“What are you doing with those Christmas lights? Hey, you can’t tie me up with Christmas lights! Oh come on now. Where’s your sense of humor?”

“I’m about to show you, sweetheart.”

Monday, December 10, 2012

Christmas Spirit

Michael: “Luna for the last time, I’m not buying any more Christmas lights! What the hell happened to them all?”

“I decorated in my room.”

“I was just in your room, I saw no lights.”

“They’re all in the closet, actually.”

“In the what? Luna, we have a million lights. There’s no way you used them all.”


“Fuck. I’ve got to see this.”

“Oh it’s beautiful sir, you’ll like it. It’s like swimming among the stars!”

“How the hell did you hang them all, dare I ask?”

“With nails, which reminds me I’m pretty sure you’re out of nails.”

“Great. And where the hell was my staff, while you were hammering away at the walls?”

“Not sure, I nailed my bedroom door shut for a little while. Anywho, are you ready to see this? Tada!”

“…Oh dear god.”

“I know, it’s pretty cool, right?”

“Luna, I’m in shock.”

“Oh that’s nothing. Check this out, I can make them blink!”

“Holy fuck Luna, turn that shit off!”

“Aw come on, it’s Christmas!”

“Jesus Christ!”

“That’s the spirit! Look, I can make them blink even faster…”

“Turn them off now!”

“Okay fine, there.”

“That’s better but the answer is still no. I’m not buying anymore lights.”

“What am I going to do about the tree?”

“Use your imagination.”


“On second thought, don’t do that. I’ll bring home more lights tomorrow.”

“Yay, thank-you sir!”



Friday, December 7, 2012


Luna: “Alex, don’t go.”

“Why not, Asa is here to pick you up.”

“I know and I don’t want to be alone with him.”

“Why not.”

“I accidentally kind of pissed him off yesterday.”

“Accidentally, my ass. I’m not going to feel sorry for you Luna, you piss him off on purpose.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes you do, you do it for attention.”

“Well maybe I kind of like his attention.”

“Good, because he’s here to pick you up.”

“Aw, come on. You’re not going to feed poor little Luna to the big bad wolf now, are you?”

“Yes I am. Learn your lesson. ”

“Fine. I can handle Asa.”

“Good luck but be careful Luna. Men have limits and that fucker would probably kill you for testing his on the wrong day.”

Asa: “He’s right Luna, I would. Get in the car.”

Alex: “See you later, Princess.”

Thursday, December 6, 2012


Luna: “Sir, why are we at a bank?”

Asa : “Shut up and stay by my side.”

“Must be where rich people keep their money. It’s fancy.”

“I said be quiet.”

“Oh my god! Are you here to rob the place?”

“Fuck yes and I thought it’d be a fantastic idea to bring you along.”

“I sense a little sarcasm.”

“For the last time, shut the fuck up!”

“I will after you tell me why we’re here.”

“Fine, I have a job for you. Go to the ladies room and count the cameras, then come back and tell me where they are.”

“Oh my god, you ARE going to rob the place! Holy shit and you want me to help. That is so cool.”

“Go, god dammit!”

“Okay okay okay. I’ll be right back and you won’t be disappointed, sir!”

“You’re so damn gullible.”

“What did you call me?”

“Loveable, so damn loveable.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Breakfast is Served

Michael: “Anyone seen Luna?”

Alex: “Yes, I saw her about an hour ago, she came looking for the newspaper.”

Jordon: “I saw her a half hour ago, bitch stole my lighter.”

Asa: “I saw her ten minutes ago boss, she was headed for the kitchen… said she couldn’t get the oven to start, wanted to make you breakfast.”

Michael: “Lucky fucking me.”

Thursday, November 29, 2012


Michael: “HEY! What’s going on in here?”

Luna: “It’s Alex’s fault! He smacked my ass with a ruler HARD and for no good reason!”

Alex: “It’s true I did. She bent over and I had a ruler in my hand. I couldn’t help it.”

Luna: “See, he even admitted it. Do something, sir!”

Michael: “Like what.”

Luna: “Tell him to never do that again!”

Michael: “I’m more tempted to remind you to stop bending over in front of men the way you do, Luna.”

Luna: “Alex, stop laughing!”

Alex: “Hey give me back my ruler, Luna!”

Michael: “I’ll take that ruler and if you’re smart Luna, you’ll take a seat… wise choice.”

Friday, November 23, 2012

Bad Teacher

Alex: “Give me your hand, Luna.”


“Trust me!”

“Okay…” *giggles*

“Good, now give me your other one.”

“Why? What are you doing?”

“Your hands are freezing, my dear.”

“I know, that’s because it’s cold out here! You didn’t answer my question.”

“What’s that, my dear?”

“What are you doing with my hands?”

“I’m warming them up. Would you like me to stop?”

“Noooo. I kind of like this but you’re going to get me in trouble!”

“In trouble, why?”

“Well because if Michael saw us like this, he would NOT be very happy.”

“Luna, this is perfectly innocent.”


“Hey come closer, you look like a frozen little popsicle!”

“I feel like one! …but ooooooh hey, now that feels nice. You’re so warm and you smell… you smell so good.”

“Hands up here, Luna.”


“That’s better.”

“Mmmm. I’m in heaven.”

“There’s a million stars out tonight.”

“Yes, there is and it’s beeeautiful!”

”Beautiful, kind of like you.”

*giggles, sighs*

Michael: “What the hell is going on here?”

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Stupid Party

Michael: “Luna where the fuck have you been?”

“In the limo smoking weed!”

“I am NOT impressed.”

“Just because you don’t think it’s very lady-like.”

“There’s nothing wrong with expecting you to act like a lady. Speaking of which, you have ash on your teeth.”

“Oh shit! …Hold on …Okay, did I get it?”


“How about now?”


“How about now?”

“Oh for Christ’s sake Luna, hold still…… there.”

“Damn sir! You could’ve been a little nicer about it, sheesh. Where the hell have your fingers been? Gross.”

“Shut up. I wanted to go back to the party but fuck, Luna, you look wasted!”

“You said but fuck! That’s funny. I’m hungry. Ooh, I see food.”

“Luna, wait up.”

“Lots of food, yay! Want a celery stick?”


“How about some of these little baby shrimpy dude looking things?”


“Cranky wanna cracker?”

“Put down the fucking food, Luna! I’m not very happy with this little stunt you’ve pulled.”

“Well, I’m not very happy you made me be here, so there.”

“You have to learn to get along with people at some point.”

“No, I don’t. People are stupid. I don’t want to be nice or lady-like. I don’t even think I was supposed to be born a lady, you know that? I bet I was supposed to be a boy.”

“Luna, put down that sausage.”  

“Check out my magnificent weenie! Oh yeah, baby! Stroke it, stroke it!”

“People are staring, stop it!”

“Hey careful, you don’t have permission to touch my weenie.”

“I’m warning you, put it down.”

“You know what else I like to do with a nice big weenie?”

“Do NOT give that sausage a blow job, Luna…… put it back on the table, Luna…… don’t you dare…… DAMMIT LUNA! ”

“Hey! What did you do with my weenie? Where are we going? We were just getting started! Let go of my ear!”

“I’ve had enough of you, we’re going home.”

“So early? You’re such a party pooper.”

“Where’s your coat?”

“I dunno.”

“Where’s your purse?”

“I dunno that either but you know what I do know? I know that lady back there in the green dress has a lot of pills in her purse, or had them there anyway. You know what else I know? Her old man was kissing another lady in the hallway, poorly I might add. You know what else I know? I’m still hungry but that’s not what I was going to say. You know what else I know? I know all the letters of the alphabet backwards! Asa said I should practice for some reason, wanna hear me practice? …Sir? Where did you get that roll of duct tape from?  That’s an awfully weird thing to be carrying around with you at a party, don’t you th….”

Thursday, October 18, 2012


“Hi Asa. Can I come in?”

“Yeah, what do you want.”

“Nothing, I just want to talk to someone.”

“Isn't that what Alex is for?”

“I suppose.”

“I don’t have the time to entertain you tonight, Luna.”

“I don’t want to be entertained.”

“Go find Michael.”

“He’s not here.”

“Go find Alex then!”

“No! I don’t want to …and why are you being such a prick bastard?”

“What did you call me?”

“A. prick. bastard. Would you like me to repeat that in another language? Would that be helpful?”

“Think twice before you keep talking.”

“Would you understand it better if I said it in Spanish? El pricko bastardo!”

“That’s enough.”

“I can say it in Italian… prickissimo bastardetto!”

“Shut the fuck up, Luna.”

“German? Das prick.”


“Wait, wait. I want to say it in Chinese… Yoo peek bah-stad. Hahahaha!”

“That’s it.”

*running, screaming*

*chasing, cursing*

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry, I didn't mean it, let me go!”

“Too late.”

“Fine, I get to say it in French then. La pweek bastarde! Hahahaha, hey… where are we going?”

“We aren‘t going anywhere. You however, are leaving. Immediately.”

“Oh come on, you can handle a little name-calling, can’t you?”

“Let go of the door frame.”


“Luna, if you don’t get out of my office, right now, I‘m going to show you just exactly what a real prick I can be. It’s your choice.”

“Okay fine, I’m leaving. Your fly is open… Ha! Made you look.”


*door slam*


Thursday, October 4, 2012


“Luna, what the hell is going on here?”

“I’m painting my room!”

“Where did you find a gallon of paint?”

“In the garage.”

“Why the fuck is it all over the floor?”


“Luna, this floor is irreplaceable!”

“What do you mean? You replaced half of it last year, when I tore it up looking for hidden treasures, remember?”

“I remember.”

“You look really mad.”

“That’s because I am.”

“Oh ,come on! Why can’t I paint my stupid room?”

“Give me the paint brush.”


“Give it.”


“Fine. If that’s the way you want it.”

“Whoa! Okay fine, here it is! Just put your stupid belt back on. No need to get all testy and stuff. Is it the color? Maybe we could negotiate.”

“No, go get cleaned up.”

“Cleaned up, why?”

“Because you are covered in paint.”

“Am not!”

“Oh really? Why don’t you go look in the mirror.”

“I can’t.”

“I know you can‘t because you painted over it, too.”

“That’s because… I didn’t like the way I was looking at me!”

“Have you been drinking?”



“Of course not. Okay, well maybe just a little but… Hey, put the damn belt back on! Sheesh.”


“Fine! So you really don’t like the color, do you?”

“Luna, it doesn’t matter what I think of the color.”

“Yes, it does.”


“Because I started in your room.”

“You what?!”

“Just kidding! Hahahaha! …Hey, I said I was just… OUCH! FUCK!”

“Where do you think you’re going, get back here.”

“No! You and you’re stupid belt!”

“Stop running around! The floor is wet, you’re going to slip and……  fall.”

“Ow. So, now you tell me.”


“Now my butt really hurts.”

“That’s unfortunate because your ass hasn’t even begun to feel the pain it deserves tonight.”

“Hey, my ass is fragile and one of a kind and you should be nice to it!”

“Your ass has no chance. Go get cleaned up.”

“Fine, but just for the record I… OUCH! You and you’re damn fucking belt!”

“You should start counting these.”

“No! That’s stupid, you count them.”


“OKAY ONE! One already, there I said it… but that’s not fair, it’s really two. Now leave me alone so I can go get cleaned up. Damn.”


“OUCH! Hey, stop chasing me!”


“TWO! Two but really three! This is stupid and you’re being extra mean tonight.”



“Don’t you dare start pouting.”

“I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

“I think you did.”

“I wanted to surprise you with something but I screwed it up.”

“Don’t try to turn this around, Luna.”

“I’m not!”

“You knew I wouldn’t be happy.”


“But you did it anyway.”


“You must like the belt.”

“Noooooo, Of course I don’t!”

“For the last time Luna, go get…”

“Go get cleaned up! I know I’m going but for someone who’s supposed to be pissed off over a stupid paint job, you sure got a big smile on your face! …OUCH, three but really four.”

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Security Detail


“So, Luna. You’re probably wondering why I brought you here, out in the middle of nowhere. The cactus looks killer in the moonlight don’t you think? It’s chilly though, shame I didn’t let you grab a jacket. Hey, don’t roll your eyes at me or you’ll find yourself in an even worse situation, and stop struggling. Your ropes are tight, it’ll only leave marks. Sit on the hood of my car bitch, right next to where you keyed it. Here, let me help you… there. Hey, sorry I tossed your shoes out but I noticed you run slower without them. What a tacky shade of red on your toenails. Someone should help you pick these things out. Too bad you’re such a bitch or you’d have friends. Just as well, you get in enough trouble without an accomplice. Which reminds me why we are here, Luna. You’ve been making my life fucking difficult lately and I don’t like it. At the party this weekend, I want you to keep your mouth shut and don’t talk to anyone. Play shy, feign sick, I don’t care but just stay next to Michael the entire fucking time. Got it? I don’t want to have to keep an eye on you. No walks, no sneaking out for a cigarette, just stay put in whatever chair he sits you in. I’m serious Luna, I want a break from you for one fucking night. So, have I got your attention? …Good, and you’re going to cooperate, right? …Good. Would you like the tape off your mouth now? …Tough shit. Hehehe, I’m so fucking funny. Hey, you’re starting to look really cold. I can tell by those nipples, nice. Hey don’t turn away from me female, you’re not in a position to decide what happens next. Calm down and deal with it.”

Friday, September 14, 2012

The Opera: Intermission

Alex and Luna in the foyer:

“Luna, what are you staring at?”

“That really hot guy over there.”

“Well, knock it off.”

“No. Hey move!”

“No. Luna, get off the floor!”

“No. I can see him from down here and I’m going to stare at him forever.”

“Oh that’s real classy. I hope he can see you staring from between my legs.”

“Oh my god, oh my god, he just saw me!”


“Oh my god, oh my god. He’s walking this way!”

“Luna, calm down and stand up.”


“That’s better.”

“Shit! I need to hide.”

“You’re face is all red!”

“No, it’s not.”

“It is too. I know that guy, you want an introduction?”

“No, I don’t not!”

“This ought to be entertaining.”

“Don’t you dare, god dammit! Oh crap.”

“Hey! Calvin, my man! How’s it going?’

“Hey Alex! I’m doing good, nice to see you! This your girlfriend?”

“Oh hell no, this is one of my students, the worst one actually! Luna, say hello to Calvin. Come on, pull your head out of my jacket, this is embarrassing.”

“Um… hi Luna. Wow. She’s pretty shy, Alex.”

“Not shy enough unfortunately. Surely you and everyone else listened in awe when she started to sing along, the end of the first act?

“Wow! That was her? Quite a voice for such a little lady.”

 “Yes, and she almost hit the high note.”

“Almost! …but not for a lack of trying.”

“Unfortunately, no.”

“Well, we all get caught up in the moment sometimes. Don’t be so hard on her. It really doesn’t compare to last year’s first act fiasco, when one of the actors got a little gaseous.”

“Oh god, I remember.”

“…and if that wasn’t bad enough, it caused an audience member to get a case of the giggles, which turned into a loud cackle. She got quite a mouth on her when they asked her to leave. She never did, though.”

“You’ll never guess who that was.” (points to Luna)

“No! Really?”


“Well okay then, you two. I should go, the orchestra is warming up. It was nice to meet you Luna. Um… you have a beautiful voice and wonderful laugh. I hope we meet again. See you later, Alex. ”

“Bye, Calvin.”

Luna: “Is he gone?”

“Yes, he’s gone. You can come out now.”


“Yes! Now, get the fuck out of my jacket.”

“Okay then, I’ll come out but… Oh my god, you LIAR!”

“Ouch! Control your purse!”

“Both of you are LIARS!”

Calvin: “Ouch! What the hell have you got in that thing?”

Alex: “Luna, calm down.”

“FUCK YOOOOOOU. Fuck BOTH of you!”

Alex: “Luna hush, seriously! It was just a joke.”

“Fuck you the hardest. I’m leaving!”

“Christ. I should go chase her.”

Calvin: “Good idea! She just ran into the men’s room.”

“Yes, and unfortunately it wasn’t an accident. I’ll see you later.”

“Later! ……Oh, fuck the opera. I’m going to go watch this instead.”

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

The Bartender

Bartender: “Hey there, little missy! What can I get you to drink?”

“I’ll have a beer, please.”

“A beer for the lady, fine… Hey, you old enough to be in here?”


“Maybe? Well… Why don’t you drink here at the bar so I can keep an eye on you then, deal?”


“That’s a pretty blouse you got on.”

“Thanks! My old man bought it for me.”

“Your what? Your old man?! Hold on now, I ain’t gonna have some angry mister come flying through that door now, am I?”

“Oh god, I hope not. You’d be so screwed if he did.”

“Hehehe, I don’t feel like getting in any trouble here tonight little lady… but I wouldn’t mind getting you alone.”

“Think you could handle me, cowboy?”

“Like you’ve never been handled before, Luna.”

“HEY! How did you know my name?”

“I’ve been warned about you.”

“Warned? What?! By who?”

“By several people.”

“That’s fucked up!”

“Relax, it got me interested more than anything.”

“I’m not a bad person!”

“No one said you were. They just said you were a handful, and I’m not really seeing a problem with… a handful.”

“You’re so sweet. What’s your name, cowboy?”

“Richard… and I’m a lot older than you are.”

“I noticed and it turned me on.”

“Oh lordy, you’re gonna get me in trouble here, aren’t you.”

“Hey, who warned you about me, anyway? That’s bullshit! I never did anything to deserve that. Okay, well maybe I have but I can’t believe someone would actually warn you about me. That’s rude. Seriously.”

“Calm down there now, tiger. Boy howdy, look at you chug that beer! Here, have another on the house.”

“Aw thank-you Texas! Seeeee, you’re really nice. You know how to treat a lady… like by giving her money for the jukebox.”

“Say what, hon?”

“It’s awfully quiet in here.”

“Oh the jukebox, take the whole tip jar over there, it doesn’t look like I’ll be needing my ones tonight.”

“So, when do you get off?”

“Right after you.”


“Careful, you’re spilling your drink.”

“I’d like to be spilling more than just my drink.”

“My shift ends in an hour… and if that angry guy who just walked through the door isn’t here to  kill me, sounds like I’m gonna get lucky!”

“Oh my fuckity, fuck fuck fuck! Hide me!”

“Hey, you can’t be back here behind the bar. What are you doing? That ain’t your old man now, is it?”

“Fuck no, worse. Asa. Shhhhh.”

“Who? Dammit Luna, now you’ve really got me in a…  HELLO there, Sir! So… what can I get you to drink?”

“Where’s Luna.”

“Say what?”

“Don’t fuck with me! Where is she?”


“Luna, stand up. I can see you back there.”


“Luna, stand up!”


“Fine. The boys can come in and you can leave kicking and screaming.”

“Fine. Bring it on.”

Bartender: “Please don’t be causing no trouble in here, y’all.”

Asa: “Shut up, you fucking old prick. I’ll cause a scene if I want to and I’ll be taking care of you… right after I take care of her. LUNA, COME HERE NOW!!!”

“Okay fine! I’m coming! Just leave the damn bartender alone, sheesh.”

“Luna, what the fuck are you wearing? Why don’t you go ahead and put your tits away!”


“BOTH of them!”


“Amazing. As for you mister bartender, you let this bitch in here again and you’ll be the proud owner of a keg shoved up your ass. Got it? Now, where the fuck did she go? LUNA?! Where the fuck… GOD DAMMIT!!!”

“Hehehe… uh-oh.”

Saturday, August 25, 2012

At The Party

Alex & Asa

Alex: “Where’s Michael?”
Asa: “Over there.”
“Where’s Luna?”
“Standing outside the men’s room, waiting to suck my dick.”
“Fuck off Asa, I need to talk to her. Where is she?”
“I told you. Go look for yourself. I bet she’s standing in front of the men’s room.”

Alex & Luna

“Luna, what are you doing outside the men’s room?”
“Oh hi Alex, nothing.”
“Good then you won’t mind if we go for a walk.”
“Have you seen Asa?”
“No, I haven’t. Ready?”
“Um, sure.”

Michael & Asa

Michael: “Have you seen, Luna?”
Asa: “She just left on a walk with Alex.”
“What the fuck for? I told her to come right back.”
“Want me to hunt her down?”

Asa & Alex

Asa: “Where’s Luna?”
Alex: “Oh hey prick, she’s headed to the ladies room, had to rinse out her mouth. Don’t be too mad at her, she had better taste than to wait around for you.”

Luna & Michael

“Luna, where the hell have you been?”
“The line at the bathroom was really long.”
“That’s not where you’ve been.”
“Have you seen Asa?”
“Shut up and sit down.”

Tuesday, August 21, 2012


ALEX: “How was your day, Luna?”

“It sucked.”

“Sorry to hear that. Why? What happened?”

“Nothing really, it was just stupid.”

“Are you mad at someone?”


“Is someone mad at you?”


“Then why did you have a bad day?”

“I didn’t say it was bad, I said it was stupid.”

“So, you were bored.”

“No, I wasn’t bored.”

“Help me out here, Luna.”

“It was stupid because it just was, okay? Leave me alone.”

“Ah. I get it now, something happened and you don’t want to tell me about it. Fine. I’ll leave you alone.”

“Wait, don’t go!”

“Luna, what the fuck is your problem?”

“Nothing! Don’t leave me alone though, okay? That wouldn’t be very nice.”


“Just stop asking me stupid questions, okay?”

“Stupid questions?!”

“Yeah, like that one.”

“I’m out of here.”

“Wait no, okay! I’ll be nice, promise.”

*dirty look*

“Okay, I take away the promise part.”

*heavy sigh*

*little sigh*

“What did you do for fun today, Luna?”

“I went on a walk and took pictures.”

“Of what, dare I ask?”



“Yup, bugs! You know, like the little crawly things I sometimes put in your…. never mind.”

“Very funny.”

“You have no idea.”

“Not even going to ask.”

“Probably wouldn’t answer.”

“So. Did you have fun taking pictures of bugs?”

“Yes I did, until the stupid dog ate one of them.”

“He didn’t.”

“He did! Then the same stupid dog, stepped on another one, right when I took the picture!”

“That would’ve been a funny picture!”

“No, it wouldn’t have!”

“Okay maybe not, but I think this is a funny photograph. What do you think?”

“Hey! That’s a picture of me… taking a picture of a bug! Give me that!”

“Take it, I’ve printed off a mountain of copies in a myriad of sizes. I do love how your rump is positioned so high in the air, whilst your nose is inches from the ground.”

“I can’t believe you did this, you pervert!”


“Yes, pervert!”

“Oh darling, you have no idea how perverted I can be, when I want to be.”



 “I didn’t know you had a camera.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

“Like what?”

“Put your new picture away, my darling. I don’t think Michael would find any humor in it.”

“Maybe I should show it to him!”

“Don’t you dare.”

“I bet YOU would get in a lot of trouble!”

“Give me that back!”



“No! Stop it!”

“Give it here, dammit!”

MICHAEL: “I’ll take that.”

Saturday, August 11, 2012


“Luna, what are you doing?”

“Oh hey Alex… um nothing.”

“Nothing my ass. What are you doing with a hammer?”

“This hammer? Oh you know…  hammering things.”

“Asa’s things?”


“As much as I hate that bastard I can’t let you do it.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not a dick. He asked me to give you this.”

“A new camera!” *gasp*

“I don’t know what this is about and I don’t want to know, but I want the hammer back.”


“What else have you got on you?”

“That’s it!”


“Whoa! Nothing like getting patted down first thing in the morning, nice!”

“Luna, what are you packing around a lighter for?”

“Um, I forgot.”

“…and why are there wood chips in your hair?”

“I dunno.”

“…and why do you smell like… like gasoline?”

*blank stare*

“WHY is the fire alarm going off now?”




















“PUT THE HAMMER BACK LUNA! GOD DAMMIT, GET BACK HERE! …Fuck. It’s no use, she’s gone.  It’s not even eight in the morning and I got to deal with this shit. Poor girl. I’ve had enough, time to play dirty.”

Friday, August 3, 2012

A Living Hell part II


Hey Asa, this is Alex. You might want to pick up your phone. I just saw Luna’s list-of-shit to do today and it does not look good for you. Problem is, I can’t find her. Call me when you get this message.


A Living Hell

“Hi Asa.”

“Well hello there, Luna! How is my little porn star?”

“Fuck you, you fucking asshole. Did you show Michael any of those pictures?”

“Fuck no, and don’t talk to me that way.”

“Michael made it sound like he’s seen something.”

“He‘s suspicious, nothing new. Why are you here?”

“Michael said you have to buy me a new camera.”

“Fuck you, he did not.”

“He said he wasn’t going to buy one and so you would have to, so pleeeeease!”

“No fucking way! I can’t believe you have the nerve to even ask.”

“I want a camera GOD DAMMIT! …and if you don’t buy me one, I’m going to do everything I can to make your life a living hell! A LIVING FUCKING HELL GOD DAMMIT!”


“You know I will.”

“Get back here you little bitch! Where you going?”

“Bitch?! Oh, you ain’t seen nothing yet, bitch.”



“God dammit... Luna, I hope you just left to dig yourself a grave.”

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Picture Perfect



“Yes, sir?”

“Where’s your new camera, the one I just bought for you?”

“Up in my room.”

“Did you take pictures with it today?”


“Why not?”

“Um well, it kind of got lead poisoning.”

“Lead poisoning?”

“Yup. Wasn‘t my fault though.”

“Lead poisoning?”


“Asa shot up you’re brand new camera, didn’t he.”

“Yes, but it wasn’t my fault. Promise! It was all just a big misunderstanding.”



“Alright then Luna, let’s hear it… your side of the story.”

“Well, I was trying to take pictures of the sunset but Asa thought I was taking pictures of him through his window and he never let me explain. That’s all.”



“I heard what happened and I know what room you were in… it faces east.”

“Oh. Yeah well, see I realized that after everything was all set up, I felt kind of stupid, really.”

“I’m not buying your excuse.”

“Please reconsider?”

“What exactly happened after Asa shot up your camera?”

“Jordon escorted me home.”


“That’s how I remember it.”

“Jordon’s not very happy with you.”

“I didn’t mean to hit him that hard, tell him I’m sorry please.”

“Tell him yourself the next time you see him.”


“Luna, why the fuck did you think it would be a good idea to spy on Asa… of all fucking people!”

“Well, because I’m pretty sure he spies on me!”

“That’s his fucking job!”

“Well, I don’t like it and I just wanted to see if I could do it back.”

“Then tell me you’ve learned that the answer is no, you cannot!”

“Fine. I guess the answer is no, I cannot.”


“Cool! Can I have a new camera then?”

“Sure you can, princess.”


“As soon as you convince Asa to buy you one.”

“Hey! That’s not fair!”

“That’s very fair since Asa’s the reason your camera is no longer ‘with us’ once again. That‘s two fucking cameras, Luna. Convince him you’ve learned where not to point one.”

“He’ll never buy me a new camera.”


“Fine. Then maybe I should just steal his.”

“Thinking out loud again?”

“I’m joking, of course. I‘d never steal anything of Asa‘s.”

“I don’t like the way you antagonize him.”

“I don’t mean to.”

“I think you do. I think you do it on purpose and I think you two like to play fucked up little games when you think I’m not looking.”

“…course not.”

“Asa does have a nice camera Luna, I’ll give you that. The pictures are incredible, and you… you’re very photogenic my dear, near picture perfect. Now, without another word, do yourself a favor and get the fuck out of my face.”

Monday, July 30, 2012

Luna La Stalker

Luna stole the keys to a second floor room because it had a view of Asa’s. Late one night she snuck inside with her camera and equipment. She grinned and set up her tripod, she attached her longest lens. She mounted the camera and snickered, then aimed it towards his place.

Asa had just got home, he turned on a couple of lights. He walked over and glanced out the window. Luna froze, afraid to be seen, soon he turned back around. She caught her breath then settled down and focused the lens on her camera.

Asa had moved to his desk, where he wrote on a piece of paper. He ripped it free then went back over and taped it to the window. It took a moment to refocus the lens but she finally pulled it in. She read it out loud and started to swear, then read it once again. “Luna bitch, I see you there. You’re dead. I’m coming to get you.”

She looked over the camera to find him but Asa was already gone. She swore a bit more and scrambled to put her things away. When she left the room the hall was empty, it seemed the coast was clear but Jordon had orders to stop her and got there just in time. Luna hit him with the tripod, she nailed him pretty hard. She flew downstairs and ran for the door, unfortunately a little too late.

Asa was standing there waiting on the other side of the door, mostly made of glass. He motioned for her to come outside but Luna shook her head no. Jordon walked up behind her, she never seen him so mad. She slipped outside and tried to run but Asa caught her instead.

He took her camera and threw it down, he shot it several times. He picked it up and gave it back and told Jordon to take her home. Luna said she knew the way and tried to run again. Asa stopped her one last time and didn’t let her go. He took her back to his place, where he had a camera of his own.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Dark and Stormy Night

It was a dark and stormy night, the boys were drinking downstairs. Luna was up in her bed, but couldn’t go back to sleep. She wandered into the hall, someone spoke her name. She sat very still, at the top of the stairs and listened to every word.

Michael wanted to know if Luna had been making advances, towards either one of the men. First he turned to Asa, who lied on her behalf. Then he looked at Alex, he covered for her as well.

Michael didn‘t believe them, so he asked her too without looking. She told him she was innocent, before realizing now she was guilty, of spying on the boys below.

Luna ran back to her room, she shut and locked the door. Michael let her be. But in the morning she opened her eyes, to him glaring from inches away.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Exhibition A

Asa: “What’s in the bag, Luna?”

“My camera”

“Thought we got rid of that fucking thing.”

“Michael bought me a new one.”


“You can’t take this one away from me, you know.”

“The hell I can’t Luna, you bring that thing here again, I’ll tie you up and take pictures of your lily white ass with it. Got it?”

“Okay fine! I won’t. Promise.”

“A promise from you, isn’t worth a thing.”

“Whatever. Are you coming to the party tomorrow?”

“Fuck yeah I’ll be there watching you like a hawk and getting paid for it. Can’t wait to see what kind of obscene excuse for a dress you parade around in this time.”

“Michael picks out my dresses, you know.”

“Yeah, but you’re the one that fails use them to cover up.”

“I only do that when you‘re looking.”

“Michael’s going to catch you flashing me.”

“No he won’t.”

“Yes he will and I bet he humiliates you in front of everyone.”

“Not gonna happen.”

“I bet he holds your dress up over your head while he yells at you.”

“Ha! He’d totally try to, if he caught me!”

“Speaking of taking pictures of your lily white ass, I bet everyone would get the opportunity to snap one before he finished.”

“For the last time, it’s not going to happen because I won’t get caught, ever!”

“Promise me you won‘t get caught, Luna.”

“I promise.”

“I’ve never been so happy you can’t keep a promise.”

“You’re mean.”

“And you’re a slut. Get your things and get out of here.”


“…and don’t  forget your camera.”

“Oh shit. I almost forgot my camera!”

“It’s amazing you even find your way here.”

“Whatever, see you tomorrow.”

“Get out of here, Luna.”

“In a second.”

“What are you waiting for?”

“I don‘t know.”

“Open the door and leave!”

“Okay fine! Bye!”

“Goodbye, Luna.”

Monday, June 25, 2012

The Shower

Asa set up a camera,
to watch Luna in the shower.
He didn’t have to hide it,
she probably would’ve agreed,
but Asa didn’t like an easy piece,
he didn’t want her to know.
Early morning, late night for him,
the camera started to record.
He poured a drink and enjoyed the view,
proud of his little crime,
until Luna blew the camera a kiss,
before turning out the light.

Friday, June 15, 2012

A Walk In The Park

Luna went on a walk.
She pretended not to notice,
Asa following behind.

He didn’t try to stop her,
he was there to mess with her mind.

The wooded park was cooling down,
night was falling fast.

He let her walk a little deeper.
Suddenly, she ran.

Asa kept up with her,
he barely made a sound.

He let her run to wear her out,
then pushed her to the ground.

Luna looked at the rip in her dress,
Asa lit a smoke.

She thought about standing up again,
but Asa shook his head, no.

Asa asked her a question,
she didn’t know what to say.

He grabbed her chin and asked again,
“Why the fuck did you run away?”

Luna sat very quietly,
and played with the rip in her dress.

She did it to be alone with him,
but didn’t want to confess.

Asa got sick of the silence,
and took her dress by the skirt.

He ripped it even more,
then threw it back in the dirt.

Luna said she was sorry.
He helped her to her feet.

He tore her dress from the neckline down,
very easily.

Luna tried to cover up,
Asa told her to stop.

He kissed her nice the first time,
but after that he was rough.

Asa felt her up,
Luna hid her smile.

Luna heard her name being called,
God damn, if it wasn’t Michael.

His voice grew loud,
the park disappeared.

Luna was dreaming,
passed out in her chair.

She tried to open her eyes,
They opened one at a time.

Both the boys were staring at her,
Michael had taken her wine.

He left to bring her some water,
unaware of her tawdry sin

but Asa could tell by the hole in her dress,
Luna had been thinking of him.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Don't Touch My Stuff

Luna ran downstairs to meet Michael, but then she ran back up. She forgot to grab the necklace he gave her. He expected to see it on.

The door to her room was open but that wasn’t how she left it, so Luna peeked inside. A stranger was there, he didn‘t see her and decided to take her necklace.

Luna carried a knife, it used to belong to Asa. She held it and walked towards him. He turned around and she stabbed him, then let him keep the knife.

Luna went downstairs, and sauntered up to Michael. She asked him for his help.

“There’s a man upstairs, who took my necklace. Will you please go get it back? He’s still alive, and I don’t want to touch him. He’s bleeding on the floor.”

Michael looked at her, Luna looked away. He left and came back with her necklace. She put it on and they went to dinner. When they got back, she was moved in with him.

Saturday, June 2, 2012


My L. is lost
inside her mind,
her vision isn’t clear.

She’s drunk again
and yelling loud,
to the figure in the mirror.

My L. is tired
and fading fast,
the mirror has won again.

She staggers over
next to me,
I catch her just in time.

My L. is trouble
I should have left her,
alone, a long time ago.

But L. is mine
and no one else,
gets to take her home.

Monday, May 28, 2012


Luna and Alex were playing a game, when Luna decided to cheat. She peeked at the tiles when he wasn‘t looking, he’d left to mix up a drink.

When it was her turn to play she spelled her name, with newly acquired letters. Alex let her take the score then next to it, he played the word ‘cheated.’

Luna rolled her eyes, then she stared at her letters, it seemed for a really long time. She suddenly snickered and bumped the table. Her tiles fell flat on their face.

She picked them up and put them back, then played a four letter word. She was proud, He was not and took down her sad little score.

Alex played the word ‘carpet.’ Luna started to laugh. He wanted to know what was so funny. She couldn’t talk. She couldn’t stop laughing and eventually forfeit her turn.

Alex put down the word ‘chaste’ and asked if she knew what it meant. Luna lied and said yes.

He wanted to hear it in a sentence. She found something to say.

“I liked it the other day, when you ‘chaste’ me around.”

Alex smirked and told her to play.

She wanted to play something else. His hand began to wander, then someone slammed a door. Michael was home in the room below, they quickly hid the game.

Luna was supposed to be studying. Alex was hired to help.

Michael came in to check on his girl, a tile was stuck in her hair. He pulled it out and set it down, then left to mix up a drink.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Rocks III

Luna went upstairs but she didn’t write a paper. Alex decided to flunk her. She didn’t care, she was mad at Michael for setting the whole thing up.

She spent the night thinking of ways, to keep the lady away. But none of them worked, it was time to go. Luna wanted to fight.

They let her in the side door, the front door didn’t work. Luna said she didn’t do it.

The lady came in. Luna scowled. She was pretty and it wasn’t fair. Then Asa walked in behind her, his eyes were glued to her ass.

Luna wanted to scream but offered to make drinks instead. She didn’t take anyone’s order and left before anyone could speak.

She came back in and set down the drinks, then sipped her wine in the corner.

The lady got mad halfway down. The rocks in her drink were real. Michael took it to see for himself. Alex wasn’t surprised.

Asa went for a cigarette. The lady followed him out. Luna wanted to join them but Michael caught up with her hair.

He drug her into the kitchen and proceeded to bitch her out. Alex heard every word.

Michael wanted an apology but Luna didn‘t have one to offer, so he hauled her ass upstairs. He locked her up and came back down. The party went on without her.

Luna bribed a guard with money from Michael’s wallet. Once outside, not sure no where to go, Asa came up behind her.

He hauled her back to Michael, who was mad but so was she. There were rocks still left in her pocket.

She threw them hard, and everyone got one before Michael wrapped her up. No one ever saw the lady again. Such a pity she decided to leave.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Rocks II

Luna hid in her room. Michael wanted to talk. His voice was loud and carried well, she didn’t dare ignore him.

“Come downstairs, Luna! Someone’s here to see you, it’s Alex.”

“Um gosh, I’m busy.”

“Get your ass down here, I want to talk to both of you before I leave.”

“Fine! I’m coming, I’m coming… hello Alex.”

“Hello Luna.”

“Listen you two, I invited the new librarian over for drinks tomorrow and I want both of you here. And Luna before you throw a tantrum, your privileges for the upcoming year are dependent on how adult you can act for an hour. Okay? So don’t blow it. Any questions? Either of you? Perfect. Luna, I’ll see you later.”

“Bye sir.”

*door slam*


“What Alex?”

“Sit down.”

“I’m not a dog.”


“Okay fine!”

“What the hell were you thinking earlier? And how dare you talk to me like that?”

“Sorry okay? I might have over-reacted.”

“You think?”

“Sorry but seriously, I don’t like girls.”

“I get that, but it’s still no excuse. What the hell is going to happen tomorrow? I’m pretty sure you can’t behave for an hour.”

“I know! You got to help me get out of this.”

“Not a chance. Why can’t you just leave the poor lady alone?”

“I’ll leave her alone, if you do.”

“You’re going to cause a scene no matter what, aren‘t you?”


“Wipe that grin off your face.”


“You know what? You have too much free time on your hands, and I don’t want you scheming between now and then, so write a fifty page report and hand it in to me in the morning. You pick the subject.”

“Hey! I said I was sorry.”

“I heard you.”

“Fine but d you really want me to pick the subject?”

“I dare you to be a smart ass, Luna. I dare you.”

“Done. Fifty pages will be written and on your desk in the morning, along with my naked tushy.”

“Luna… *sigh* …never mind.”

“I better go start writing.”

“Good idea, and say you’re sorry again.”

“I’m sorry again already, sheesh.”

“That was sincere. I’ll see you in the morning, Luna.”

“Yay, I can’t wait until tomorrow.”

“Shit. Neither can I.”

Thursday, May 3, 2012




“What are you doing?”

“Throwing rocks.”

“Yes, I can see that, why?”

“Because apparently they want to be over there.”

“And why is that?”

“That’s a stupid question, Alex.”

“Stop throwing rocks and address me properly.”



“Let go!”


“Stop it! Let go.”

“Hey, don’t bite!”

“Leave me alone.”

“Hey, come back here, Luna! What’s wrong with you? Are you mad at me?”

“Stop following me.”

“What’s got into you?”

“Do not touch me!”

“Talk to me!”

“No. Go away.”

“Not a chance.”

“Hey! God dammit! Put me down!”


“Hey, it’s windy!”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got a hold of  your dress.”

“Put me down, you’re embarrassing me!”


“God dammit! I thought you said, you had a hold of my dress!”

“Sorry, it’s windy.”

“Put me down!”

“Fine. There. Are you happy? Are you going to talk to me now?”


“You’re a fucking brat, you know that?”

“Am not.”


“I’m mad because I saw you flirting with that stupid bitch at the library, this afternoon.”

“Oh, you mean…”

“DO NOT say her fucking name or I will scream so fucking loud. I swear to god I will.”

“I didn’t say it. Do not scream.”

“I fucking hate girls.”

“I know you do. I‘ve heard stories, actually.”

“I hate them, a lot.”

“Why is that, Luna?”

“I’m not supposed to talk about it.”

“Tell me my darling, I’ll keep your secret.”

“You’re such a liar!”

“That wasn’t a nice thing to say, and as for the librarian, Luna I never flirted with her.”

“You’re a total liar!”

“And even if I did decide to flirt with her, it wouldn’t be any of your business. You know that.”

“Fuck you.”

“I don’t like your attitude.”

“I don’t care. I don’t like competition, so watch your back… and hers too.”

“You’re not leaving me with a comment like that.”

“Michael’s coming up behind you, so you know what?  I am. See you later, Alex.”

Saturday, April 21, 2012


Luna had an imaginary friend, who stole a bottle of wine. Michael thought it was a lame excuse and messed with Luna’s mind.

“Okay Luna, who stole the wine then... if it wasn’t you?”

“It was Tilly.”


“Tilly did it, I bet.”

“Oh yes, Tilly. Your imaginary friend, I remember her. Why don‘t you tell me a little more about… Tilly, Luna.”

“Like what?”

“What does she look like?”

“Oh, she’s really nice and has long, curly red hair.”

“Is she hot?”


“I asked if she was hot Luna, answer the question. Does she have nice tits?”


“Are they big tits?”


“Are they perky tits?”

“Stop it! You’re not being very nice.”

“Do you like to touch them, Luna? Do you like touch her tits?”


“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“No you won‘t!”

“Too late. I like this Tilly friend of yours. Tell Tilly to come sit on my lap. I want to check out those tits of hers.”

“Stop teasing me!”

“I’m not teasing you Luna, I’m teasing your girlfriend now be quiet, she‘s trying to whisper in my ear.”

“She is not my girlfriend!”

“That’s not what she just said. Hold on. What’s that Tilly?”

“Stop it.”

“She says you’re a kinky girl, Luna.”

“No she didn‘t.”

“She says you two like to kiss.”

“No, she did not!”

“She says you two like to play in the shower.”

“Stop it, sir!”

“She says you two like to rub each other’s…”

“BLAH BLAH BLAH! Okay FINE! I’ll go get your stupid wine! But whatever you do… just SHUT UP and STOP TALKING TO TILLY!”

Saturday, April 14, 2012



“Oh hi, Asa.”

“What are you doing in my desk?”

“Looking for a pen.”


“I don’t know.”



“What are you doing in my desk?”

“Looking for a cigarette.”



“Don’t touch my shit.”


“What’ve you been up to? We haven‘t talked in a while.”

“You mean since you killed that guy?”

“I found him in your fucking room and I’ve got bad news for you, Luna. The prick was seen jumping from his car. He got out before it blew up, then he disappeared from the scene.”

“He’s still alive?”

“Not for much longer, and get that fucking smile off your face!”

“Ouch! Okay, okay, okay!”

“God, you’re fucking clueless, bitch! Seriously.”

“No I’m not!”

“You’re still in danger. Get that through your fucking head!”

“No I’m not. He‘s just a stupid pervert. Ow.”

“Let’s get something straight, right now.”


“Shut up and listen. The guy is dead Luna, but until I fucking find him, you need to follow my orders. Got it?”


“He is dangerous, Luna.”

“Okay fine, I believe you, sir.”

“Sir, nice. She finally gets around to calling me sir. Okay fine. Well now that you’re feeling a little more subservient, let’s get to the real reason why you’re here.”

“Why‘s that sir?”

“Hehehe, god you’re clueless.”

Thursday, April 5, 2012


Asa ordered his men to hunt the intruder down. He told Luna to stay in his office. He loaded his gun and glared at her, then left to check out her room.

He kicked in the door, there was no one around. He went to check out her closet. He opened the door and nestled his gun against the voyeur’s head.

The man in turn, let go of her clothes and put his hands in the air. Asa was tempted to kill him, but he asked a question instead.

“What’s your name?”

“I’m an unarmed man.”

“I didn’t ask for your mistake. I asked for your name.”

“Look man, I didn’t mean any harm by being here, I just… OUCH! FUCKER! What did you punch me in the face for!”

“Tell me your name, or I’ll do it again.”

“OUCH! FUCK MAN! You didn‘t even give me a chance that time!”



“How the hell did you get in here?”

“That’s a secret, man.”

“You’re a dead, man.”


“What are you doing here!”

“Just followed the pretty little bitch in!”

“It was a bad idea.”

“Actually, I’ve been having a great time, until now!”

Asa hit the man again, then told him to get outside. He didn’t like him in Luna’s room. The voyeur complied, coerced by the gun. Once there, he was surrounded by men.

Everyone was armed, except for the man. His face was covered in blood. Asa was about to finish him off, when Luna came rushing in.

He told her to leave but she didn’t want to, so he told her not to watch. She walked over and stood in front of the man, but no one lowered their gun.

Asa told Luna to move but she didn’t want him to die, she said let him go back to the city. Asa got mad but pretended to agree. He told Luna, it was a great idea.

The voyeur’s car was parked nearby, escorted he made his way. He slowly backed out onto the street, drove off and disappeared. For a moment, everything went quiet, until the car went boom.

Asa grinned then glared at Luna and told her to go back inside.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012



“What Luna.”

“Can I talk to you for a second?”

“I’m busy.”

“It’s important.”

“You’re wasting my time.”

“There’s a new guy around and he’s creeping me out, sir.”

“What do you mean, creeping you out.”

“The first time I saw him, I was at the store and he was staring at me, through the window.”

“Where the fuck were your guards?”

“They were there, but he just stared.”

“They should have moved him on.”

“Sir, I think he was at the party last night.”

“Are you serious? What the fuck, Luna! Why didn’t you say something?”

“I wasn’t sure it was him, but now… I’m pretty sure it was.”


“Because there are footprints outside my window.”

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Dirty Blue Eyes

Luna walked into the party, wearing her new little hat. Michael had a hold of her shoulder.

She could see just fine, through the lace of the vale, but he decided to escort her.

They mingled and drank, most of the night. They danced when the music slowed down.

Luna peered around his arm, to get a glimpse of the crowd.

A man stared back from the corner, it was the voyeur from the store.

His hair was clean, his suit was tailored. A different look than before.

Luna remained suspicious, of his clever little disguise.

Luna couldn’t stop staring, into his dirty blue eyes.

Friday, March 23, 2012

The Voyeur

Luna was trying on hats, in a quaint little place on the corner. There were so many ones to choose from, she kind of lost track of time.

The first one was white with a floppy brim, that extended exceptionally wide. She lifted her chin to look in the mirror. She smiled, it looked pretty nice.

The second was furry and snug on her head, a little too militant for her.

The third one was crazy but she couldn’t resist, it had feathers that reached the sky.

The fourth one was sexy, it carried a vale, that sheltered all of her features.

She left it on a bit longer. So far this one was best.

Luna tried on several more, after a while she finally noticed, a man in the mirror that had been watching her, she turned to take a look.

He stood outside the window, and he continued to stare. When she went for the door to approach him, he quickly disappeared.

Luna paid for the hat, the one that she liked best. Once outside she scanned the street, for any sign of the man.

It seemed that he was gone, but the voyeur wanted more. He studied her over carefully.

It wasn’t smart to follow her home.

Monday, March 19, 2012


Alex bought Luna some lingerie and wanted to see it on. She wasn’t thinking and gave him a show but he didn’t look very happy. He took her arm and spun her around to take a look from behind. In marker, a word was written, misspelled just above her ass. Alex wanted answers. Luna refused to speak.

“What the fuck is that?!
Answer me!
Oh what, so you’re not talking to me now? Smart. Real smart.
Fine. I can figure this out. Let’s see. There wasn’t any writing on your ass yesterday, so you must have got it last night and judging by it’s location Luna, you got some assistance!
Luna, you were home alone. It was just you and your guard. So tell me, who was your guard last night? Who was it?!
Still not talking?
I already know the answer. Asa’s out of town and there’s only one person he assigns to you when he’s not here.
I would’ve thought he was smarter than that. I bet you two were drunker than fuck.
Drunk guards are worthless, Luna.
I should tell Asa about this.”


“So, you admit it.”

“You can’t say anything to Asa!”

“What in the hell was Jordon doing up your dress, you horny little bitch!”

“No, it wasn’t like that!”

“Get out of the clothes I bought for you.”

“No, let me explain!”

“Get out of them now! Fuck.”

“Okay, okay I will just stop looking at me like that!”


Alex made Luna get dressed, then he let her explain. She said nothing happened. He said he believed her but was still upset. Her indiscretions made him nervous.

Michael was due back in a couple of days. She promised to scrub it off. Alex didn’t think she could reach it and helped her. He wasn’t very nice.

Luna left with a sore spot instead of a fake tattoo. She asked for the lingerie back one last time, so Alex threw it away.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


Asa relied on Jordon to be his right-hand man. It was his job to watch over Luna one night. One thing led to another and both of them wound up drunk.


“Yes Lu?”

“Do you have any tattoos?”

“Yes Lu.”

“No way! Where?”

“Wouldn‘t yooou like to know.”

“Are they on your butt?”


“Are they on your boobs then?”

“No dork and stop guessing!”

“I’m not a dork… *hiccup* you’re a dork.”

“It‘s on my back dork.”

“Let me see!”

“Okay. Help me up… or not. Wait. I got it… I got it… okaaaaay.”

“Stripper! Stripper! Stripper! We have a stripper on aisle two!” *hiccup*

“Shut up and get down from there!”

“I didn‘t get up on anything, you fell over again. Hold still I wanna see your tattoo.”

“Dammit Lu, yer hands are cold!”

“It’s beeeeeeautiful! I wanna tattoo.”

“Michael would shit bricks, two of ‘em even.”

“I know but I got an idea.” *hiccup*

“Oh god.”

“I have a marker.”


“Yes yes yes!”

“No and put it back in your bag, Lu.”

“No and give me a tattoo, Jody.”

“Nooooooo fuckin’ way Lu.”

“I’ve always wanted one right here.”

“Hey! Put your fuckin’ dress down!”

“No! Just fuck the draw… fuck the draw…”

“Put it down!”

“Fuck the draw… draw me a fuck… fuck me a draw…”

“Put it down Luna!”

“Draw a fucking butterfly please.” *hiccup*

“No and put your dress down before someone walks in.”

“No. There’s no one here and you know it. Draw.”

“I don’t draw butterflies, lady.”

“I don’t think you can even spell butterfly.”

“…gimmie the marker.”

“Yay, a butterfly!”

“Hold reeeally still.”

“That tickles!”

“Hold stiller.”

“I’m holding as stiller as possible.”

“Done. Now put yer damn dress down, lady.”

“Yay, thank-you! I’m gonna go look in the mirror.”

“Oh god. I got to get outa here.”

“What was that?”

“I said… you look great from the rear.”

“Um. Thanks Jody but I think you’ve had enough to drink tonight, okay? I’ll be right back.”

 “Uh… okay Lu… thanks.”

Luna left the room but forgot where she was going. Jordon passed out on the floor. Michael was out of town for a few days, but this wasn’t over.

Monday, March 5, 2012


Alex and Luna were whispering
even though there was no one around.
He was talking dirty to her
she was talking back.

Both of them were smiling
‘til Asa walked in the room.

No one smiled after that.

Asa told Luna to leave.
She mumbled she didn’t want to.
He yelled until she did.

A little time went by
then Luna asked what happened.

Alex told her to forget it
Asa warned her not to.

Alex told her she had done nothing wrong
Asa said he was about to.

Luna realized she was in trouble
and thought about walking away
but to watch the boys fight over her
made her fucking day.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

The Kiss

“Hand it over.”

“Hand what over?”

“Hand over my wallet Luna.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”


“It’s around here somewhere.”

“Find it Luna.”

“Mmmm let me think, where did I put it...”

“This isn’t funny.”

“No, of course not. Hey, did you know one of your credit cards is expired?”

“Is that so.”

“Yup… and another one… after a while, it stopped working.”

“Very funny.”

“I thought you said this wasn’t funny.”

“Where’s my wallet!”

“I’m looking, relax!”

“Luna, your report on Marbles was……… wanton.”

“You still gave me an “A” though, now didn’t you.”

“That wasn’t the point. Give me my fucking wallet!”

“Chill. Is this what you were looking for?”

“Give it.”

“Come and get it.”

“Damn, you’re a pain in the ass.”

“Ha! Tricked you, you’re too slow.”

“Put it in my hand, Luna.”

“Ha! Tricked you again, old man!”

“That’s it!”

“Whoa! Wait! What are you doing? hehehe I was only kiddin… HEY! HOLY SHIT! I can’t believe you just did that!!!!!”

“Made you let go of it, now didn’t it. And now you know why they call it a snatch.”

“I can’t believe you just said that!”

“Everything better still be in here.”

“Oh. my. god!”

“Close your mouth, Luna.”

“Hey, who’s that a picture of in your wallet?”

“There’s no picture in here.”

“There is now.”

“Really. Oh my god Luna! What the hell! You‘re… naked!”

“Hey, it’s nothing you didn‘t help yourself to last night… sir.”

“Where’s my cash.”

“What cash?”

“The cash from my wallet, where is it?”

“I didn’t see any cash.”

“Hand it over.”

“It’s in my purse.”

“You mean your bra.”


“You want me to come and get it, don’t you.”



“Hey! …What are you doing? That tickles! …HEY! …Stop it!!!!”

“Not until I get what I’m after.”

“You’re not even …dammit …going for the money!”

“No I’m not.”

“Stop… tickling… me!!!”


“Fine, I‘ll give you the money!”

“Keep it. I found something else I want instead.”

“Oh, like what!”


Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Marbles continued

Luna was bent over the table, Alex wanted a tour. He propped her skirt, on top of her ass to get it out of the way.

He thanked her for the access, and gave her a little massage. He slid his hands up under her sweater, she wasn’t wearing a bra. He whispered, how convenient and “thanked” her once again.

All Luna could do was stand there and bite her lower lip. Her eyes were wide, her heart had stopped. Other than that she was totally fine. He laughed in her ear and smacked her ass, and then replaced her skirt.

“Your paper is due tomorrow,” he said, “I’m sure it won’t disappoint.”

He left her there to work on it,

Luna did her best.

by Luna

Marbles are round and made of glass
I think the teacher just grabbed my ass!

I’ll turn this in and get an A
cuz teacher knows I get my way,

But one more thing, before I go
I found your wallet on the floor.


Tuesday, February 14, 2012


Alex assigned Luna a paper then decided not to remind her. Soon after that, she conveniently forgot.

The night before it was due, he asked if it was ready. Luna said it was really too late to start. The library was closed, he pulled out his keys and told her to meet him there.

Her paper was all about marbles, she brought a few of them with. She set down her bag and took off her coat, to reveal her latest stunt. Her leggings couldn’t reach, what her skirt didn’t cover. Luna was barely dressed.

She bent over to reach in her bag, expecting him to complain. Alex did something different and grabbed a hold of her ass.

Luna let out a curse. He told her not to swear. Marbles began to scatter.

He told her to let go of the very last two,

and grinned when they hit the floor.

To be continued…

Wednesday, February 8, 2012


Luna walked into Michael’s office. He peered over his glasses. She wandered over and sat on his desk but elected not to face him. It was usually a sign she had done something wrong. He sighed and set down his pen.

“What’d you do.”

“Nothing. I just wanted to ask…”

“Speak up.”

“I just wanted to ask you a question.”

“Ask me face-to-face.”

Luna turned her chin.

“I want a tattoo.”

“That’s not a question.”

“Sir, can I get a…”




“Sir, I…”

“No! God dammit and don’t ask me again!”

“Sir, can I get a tattoo?”

Michael stood. Luna looked down. She didn’t move and listened to him join her, up close.

“No you cannot. Now, did you have another question or are we done here.”

“It would be a small one.”


“Right back here, on my hip.”

“I’ll have it surgically removed.”

“That’s not very nice.”

“No. It’s not very nice at all but I will and we‘ve had this conversation before.”

“I know.”

“I know you know, so why are we having it again?”

“I don’t know.”

“Me neither, hop down now and leave me alone for a while.”


“I have work to do.”

“I know.”

“Put the idea of getting a tattoo out of your head.”


Luna went to jump down but Michael put his hand on her chest.

“Listen. The reason I don’t want you to get a tattoo is because you’re beautiful. Okay? There’s no way I’d let anyone draw on you.”

Luna nodded. Just then Michael noticed the chain around her neck.

“Where did that come from?”

“I found it.”

“You found it?”

“Yes, I found it.”

“That’s an expensive chain Luna. It’s a man’s chain. I don’t like it. Take it off.”

Luna did as she was told and Michael took the chain.

“Hey, why can’t I keep it?”

“Because it belongs to Asa, doesn‘t it.”

“No it doesn’t! I mean maybe it does, I guess. I don’t think I would know sir, because I found it… sir.”

“Do yourself a favor and be quiet, sweetheart.”

“Please let me keep it?”

“Absolutely not! Now go.”




“…and Luna one more thing.”

“Yes sir?”

“The chain around your neck, is mine. You hear me?”