Monday, December 31, 2012


Luna: “Fuck Asa, you scared me!”

“What the hell is going on in here? Why aren’t you downstairs?”

“Because this is the stupidest dinner party, ever.”

“What’s that smell?”


“It’s coming from your purse.”

“Hey, give that back!”

“What the hell Luna, a crab? You stole an entire crab?”

“Yeah, so what. I’m hungry.”

“You couldn’t wait ten minutes and eat with everyone else?”

“Apparently not. Hey! Why did you throw it on the floor?”

“That’s disgusting Luna.”

“No it’s not.”

“Where are you going with it?”

“I’m going to eat it.”

“How the hell are you going to crack it?”

“With this…”

“A mallet?”


“Are you serious? Where the hell did you even get that thing?”

“Don’t remember.”

“Don’t you dare pound that thing on the dresser.”

“I’d stand back if I were you.”

“You’re going to make a fucking mess.”

“Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure I can hit him.”

“Oh god…”


“That wasn’t very effective, now was it Luna.”

“No but I bet the legs are around here somewhere.”

Michael: “What the hell is going on in here? Why aren’t you downstairs? What the hell is that smell? What is all over your dress? Asa, what the hell did Luna do now?”


“Never mind, I don’t want to know. Luna, get your ass downstairs.”

“Looking like this? No way.”

“GO! …or I’m going to take that crab leg out of your hair and shove it up your nose!”

“Sir, you wouldn’t really do that, would you?”

*reaches for it*

*screams and runs away*

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