Monday, December 24, 2012

Kittens


Michael: “LUNA!”

“Yes sir?”

“Why is there a litter of kittens in my office?”

“I found them, aren’t they cute?”

“Found them where?”

“Outside with their mama! See, I brought her in too.”

“So why did you bring them into my fucking office?”

“Because I like it in here.”

“You know I don’t like cats.”

“Yes you do and look, this one likes you back!”

“Luna, get it off of me.”

“No, just pet it!”

“It’s not my kind of pussy.”

“Come on, he wants to stay! I’ll just set him right here.”

“Luna?”

“Yes?”

“He’s peeing on my desk.”

“Oh.”

“Take them back outside.”

“Not until you help me name this one.”

“Dog Food. Do you want me to name the rest?”

“No.”

“Chew Toy?”

“No.”

“Speed Bump?”

“Sir!”

“Target Practice.”

“Stop it!”

“Take them away.”

“Tell them you’re sorry.”

“The only one that’s going to be sorry here is you.”

“I wasn’t the one who peed on your desk.”

“Yes, and let me take this opportunity to say… DON’T YOU EVER EVEN THINK OF IT!”

“You must think I’m crazy!”

“Like a rabid rabbit.”

“Rabbits are cute, do you like rabbits?”

“Yes I do, for dinner.”

*sigh*

“Don’t forget this one, Luna.”

“I can’t hold them all. Will you help me?”

“Sure, come here.”

“Hey! You stuck him down my shirt!”

“I’d get moving if I were you, he looks restless.”

“Hahaha, it tickles!”

“Luna, what are you doing now?”

“Putting them all down my shirt! This will be funny.”

*sigh*

“There! Hahaha, I love kittens.”

“Wonderful. Now pick up their mother and go before another one has to use the bathroom.”

“Ew!”

“Bet you didn’t think of that, did you?”

“EWWWW!”

“Well stop thinking about it and go!”

“Will you get the door?”

“Gladly.”

“I’ll be back, sir.”

“That’s fantastic.”

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