Friday, August 9, 2013

Roller Derby

Alex: “Luna, what the hell are you doing?”

“I have to pee.”

“Yes, I can tell by the unfortunate hold you have on yourself. Would you please let go.”

“I seriously have to pee.”

“We’re in public, knock it off.”

“I really, really have to pee.”

“And why didn’t you think of this before you put on skates?”

“Didn’t have to go then, duh.”

“So, what are you waiting for then? Go!”

“I don’t know how to skate.”

“You what?”

“I don’t know how to skate.”

“Luna, why the hell did you drag me to a roller rink then?”

“I don’t know.”

“Let go of yourself!”

“No! Push me to the bathroom.”

“Push you? No! I don’t get paid enough to do that kind of shit.”

“Oh but I think you do, hurry please.”



“Fine. Let’s go.”

“Whoa, careful! Push slower.”

“Shut up.”

“Hey did that kid just point and laugh at me?”

“Yes he did Luna, keep moving.”

“Oh, hell no! He ain’t getting away with that.”

“Hey, I thought you had to pee!”

“Get back here you miserable little prick!”

Hey, I thought you couldn’t skate!”

“I’m going to kick his ass.”

“Luna, you are a fucking little liar!”

“Take that! You stupid little shit.”

“LUNA! I can’t believe you just tripped him!”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“No, of course not! Now where are you going?”

“Move it, I still have to pee.”

“Let go of yourself, god dammit!”

“No way!”

“I’ll give you a hundred dollars to fucking let go.”

“Okay! Sold. Pay up.”

“Don’t have to pee anymore?”

“No, not really. Pay up.”

“Luna, I don’t appreciate…”

“Pay up.”


“Thank-you sir, you’re the best! Put your skates on, okay? I’m going to take over the jukebox.  I wonder how many times this will play my favorite song over and over again. Don’t try to leave me here like you did last week at the circus, okay? I still have clown paint in places it should never grace. Anyway, I’ll be right back but I’ll be watching you sir, watching you like a hawk.”

“Luna, watch where you’re going.”


“Fucking hell.”

“Stupid pole.”

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