Le Fleur

Alex: “Hi Luna, what do you have there?”

“A bouquet of flowers, do you like them?”

“They’re lovely. Are you going to put them in a vase?”

“Yup, soon.”

“What kind are they?”

“All different kinds! Here, I’ll teach you.”

“Which one smells so nice?”

“I’ll get to that one. But first, do you know what kind this one is?”

“Is it a pansy?”

“No. It’s a daisy. You don’t know your flowers very well.”

“Does it have a smell?”

“No! Set it back down.”

“Um, okay.”

“What about the orange one, do you know what kind it is?”

“Is it a poppy?”

“No. It’s a lily. Silly.”

“Does it have a smell?”

“No, sheesh! I’ll get to that one, I told you already!”

“Fine, settle down.”

“You know what these are called, don’t you? These little white ones?”

“Those are ugly, Luna. Looks like you picked up a little bit of weed on accident.”

“It’s called baby’s breath and it’s pretty but it has a stupid name.”

“Oh? …and what would you call it, instead.”

“Angel farts.”

“I’m not even going to ask about the smell.”

“Thank god. Do you know what this one is? It’s one of my favorites.”

“A carnation?”

“No. It’s a snapdragon.”

“It’s pretty! Hold it up for me so I can smell it.”

“Here.”

“Thanks for shoving it up my nose, Luna.”

“Hahaha! That was funny. So, what does it smell like?”

“Right now? probably snot.”

“Ew. Gross!”

“Aha! There it is. That’s what I smell, a rose. A single, red rose. Beautiful.”

“Careful, I like them extra thorny.”

“Ouch! You’re not kidding.”

“Keeps people from messing with my flowers.”

“Is that a common problem for you?”

“A girl can never be too careful.”

“Here, let me help you Luna. What about this vase?”

“That’ll be perfect! Thank you.”

“Hold on, you forgot one.”

“I do not want a snot covered snapdragon in my bouquet.”

“I’ll stick it in there for you then.”

“Fine and I will prune it out.”

“I can’t believe you just decapitated your snapdragon.”

“I’m going up to my room now and I’m taking my flowers with me. You owe me a snapdragon. You owe me a whole bouquet of them.”

“Oh I’ll bring you a bouquet of snapdragons if you want me to, dear. You think about it though. Is that what you really want? An entire bouquet of snot covered snapdragons?”

*silent stare*

“Any particular color?”

“Never mind.”

“Good girl.”