Dinner For Two

Asa:

“Luna, stop picking at your food.”

“But it tastes so good! I want it to last forever.”

“We’ve been here for three hours. I want to go home.”

“Oh, come on. We haven’t even ordered dessert yet.”

“I’ve got your desert right here, baby.”

“You’re not supposed to grab yourself like that out in public.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Hey! You’re not supposed to grab me like that either.”

“Couldn’t help myself. Now hurry up, so we can go.”

“Oh. My. God.”

“What, Luna.”

“Is that Alex?”

“Where, I don’t see him.”

“Over there, sitting with that lady.”

“So it is.”

“I don’t like her. She’s pretty.”

“She’s not bad.”

“Matter of fact, I hate her.”

“Luna, sit down and finish your dinner. I take that back. Give me your utensils and no no no, you can’t throw your plate. Calm down!”

“I am calm! Totally calm. Completely fucking calm.”

“Obviously.”

“Guess I’ll just assume that’s his sister.”

“Whoa, I hope not with a kiss like that.”

“What!”

“Sit.”

“Uh oh. I think he just saw me.”

“Great.”

“I waved but he doesn’t look happy to see us.”

“He’s probably here to spy on us.”

“Oh, yay! Here comes the waiter.”

“Hello, my beautiful friends! I see you both enjoyed your dinner, may I interest you in a little dessert?”

“Yes!”

“No! Ignore her waiter. Check, please.”

“Aw! You’re no fun.”

“You won’t be saying that an hour from now.”

“I don’t want to leave Alex alone here with her.”

“Tough shit. If Alex wants to get a little pussy and it ain’t yours, I’m all for it. Stop flipping him off and put your coat on.”

“Can we slash his tires on the way out?”

“Maybe.”

“Fine, I'm ready.”